These Are A Few Of My Favorite... Cynical Songs Of The Season

I know. I know. It’s Advent, and I’m not supposed to listen to Christmas music. This isn’t Christmas music. This is anti-commercialized-season music. This is music for Bah Humbugs.



-This Year’s Santa Baby – Eartha Kitt.

Everybody’s heard the original holiday greed classic, "Santa Baby." If you’ve only heard the one by Madonna or (eesh!) Kelly Pickler, you must go straightaway and hunt up the original! “This Year’s Santa Baby” is the same tune, and Eartha sexily purrs through her latest shopping list, because everything she got last year is either broken or out of style. Among her outrageous requests are “most of the Florida coast” and “the Queen Elizabeth.”
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-Christmas Can-Can – Straight No Chaser

From their second Christmas cd, "Christmas Cheers," the accapella group that made it big with their brilliant mash-up of the 12 Days of Christmas--with, among other things, Toto’s “Africa”-- knocks it out of the park again, highlighting the rush of the season, Christmas music overkill, and the exclusion of Chanukkah. And it’s really fun to listen to.
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-Blue Xmas (To Whom It May Concern) – Miles Davis & Bob Dorough
 
Jazz great Miles Davis and Bob “Three is a Magic Number” Dorough: How can you go wrong? Lyrical gems include, “I hope you have a white one, but for me, it’s blue,” “It’s a time when the greedy give a dime to the needy,” and his intentional pronunciation of “Blue Exmas.” It’s on Miles Davis’ “Hipster’s Holiday” or you can listen to and download it here.

There's also a nice alternate take on Blue Note Records' "Yule Be Boppin'"


-Putting On A Play – Bunch of Believers


B.O.B. is (was?) a Christian ska band, but this song is very listenable for non-ska fans. It’s a good-natured poke at the annual Christmas pageant. Ever do one where everything goes wrong? “Whoever wrote, ‘No crying he makes’ never met this boy. Still, it’s hard to imagine Jesus holding on to a StarWars toy.”
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Finally,


-Santa Claws – Barry Kooda & the Buckaneers

Imagine “Santa Claus Is Coming To Town” as “Ghost Riders In The Sky.” A menacing minor-key rendition that makes "You'd better watch out, You'd better not cry," more of a eerie warning.
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