Friday, August 18, 2006

Snakes on a Plane Opens

The movie, "Snakes On A Plane" slithers onto the big screen today. I'm enamored with the concept of a movie script written by an internet community. Plus, it looks like it has a great deal of B-movie charm. That is, if you find B-movies charming. I do, usually.

I'm already thinking of sequels, of course:

Wart Hogs on a Cruise Ship! (I keep envisioning a wart hog ploughing through half a dozen deck chairs, skidding around a slippery corner on its little hooves and off the edge of the ship. Makes me laugh.)

Bats on the Subway! (It seems like a natural place for bats to live, doesn't it? Down in the tunnels? The bats hanging from the ceiling, swaying gently back and forth as the trains pass? You could re-use plenty of footage from the movie "Bats," since no one saw that anyway. "Is this 81st Stree--Aaaaaagh! Get it off! Get it off!")

Vultures on an Elevator! (4th floor please. 4th floor please! Gasp! The elevator operator is dead! What's that on his back? <Crunch. Rip. Schluurp. > A vulture! There's a vulture on this elevator! Help me! <Screech!>)

Squirrels in a Revolving Door! (Seriously. Just imagine the mayhem of entering a revolving door, and just as your exit is sealed, an angry squirrel drops from the ceiling to gnaw on your exposed flesh with its little pointy teeth! Now imagine five of them!)

Kittens at a Child's Birthday Party! (It's not 3 hrs long. It only seems that way!)

Pigeons in a Museum! (Sounds like a crappy premise to me.)

Or maybe it'll be snakes in other places: Snakes in a Phone Booth; Snakes at a Presidential Caucus; Snakes on a Greyhound Bus; and the truly horrifying Snakes on a Diet!

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