A couple Halloween games

Need a couple games for your halloween kids' (Though I suppose adults could use these, too) party? The Brain has your back! (It's on that slab over there.)

The first is a basic word un-scramble (de-scramble?)
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SCRAMBLED MONSTERS (YUM! YUM!)

kifanrensent
laradcu
mymum
pevairm
oyogeb nma
nababilome nwamson
ecrutera mrfo het cablk alogon
mwflona
hcol esns nstorme
vlibesnii amn
goplerstire
holgu
tronjelacakn
flerwowe
naitram
lekstone
bozime
chewits
monthap
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For those who need the key (or are just plain lazy):

Frankenstein
Dracula
Mummy
Vampire
Boogey Man
Abominable Snowman
Creature From The Black Lagoon
Wolfman
Loch Ness Monster
Invisible Man
Poltergeist
Ghoul
Jackolantern
Werewolf
Martian
Skeleton
Zombie
Witches
Phantom
*****

The next one is a guessing game, the object of which is to guess the monster in the fewest clues. Probably you'd want one copy and do this orally. Caution: a few bad puns ahead!
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Can you guess me?

1. I actually have no name, but I’m usually called by the name of my creator.
2. I’m actually made up of parts of lots of different people.
3. My bride had some crazy hair!
4. I hate fire, but lightning makes me come to life!
5. I’m Aliiiiive!
I’m Frankenstein’s Monster!

1. I had an insane helper named Renfield
2. I can’t stand "stake," especially with garlic!
3. I sleep all day & only go out at night.
4. I can be a bat, a wolf, or even a mist.
5. I vant to sock your blodd!
I’m Count Dracula, of course!

1. All of my best friends are dead, but not because I killed them.
2. I need to drink tanna leaf tea to survive.
3. Though my name sounds girly, I’m usually a guy.
4. My hobbies include Egyptian boxing, curses and pyramid schemes..
5. I can’t come to the phone because I’m all wrapped up at the moment.
I’m a Mummy! (I scare people.)

1. I was invented by Washington Irving, the same guy who created Rip Van Winkle!
2. I give nightmares to New England schoolmasters.
3. Hobbies: horseback riding, decapitation, and throwing flaming pumpkins.
4. My neighborhood is a "legendary" town called Sleepy Hollow.
5. Despite my name, my horse has a head, but I don’t.
I’m the headless horseman!

1. I came to New York City from a place called Skull Island.
2. Some people called me "The Eighth Wonder of the World."
3. I have a weakness for screaming blonde women.
4. I’d advise you not to climb the Empire State Building.
5. I’m the king, but I won’t stop monkeying around.
I’m King Kong!

1. Very few monsters appear in Shakespeare, but there are three of me in one play!
2. I’m known for my rhyming cookbook.
3. My favorite subject in school is "Spelling."
4. I must be very neat, because you almost never see me without a broom!
5. It’s all about the pointy hat, people.
I’m a witch! Hee-hee-hee!

Never thought of doing this!

You won't see me worshiping here any time soon!

Tired of worrying about whether your attire is too dressed-up or not dressy enough for church? These folks have solved the dilemma for you!

Calvary Nudist Baptist Church in Tyler, TX!

I love some of the comments on the front page:

We are lambs before the Lord, and every Sunday we give thanks to Him with all of our body and soul. And it includes the sacrifice of our garments, for it was when Eve ate from the Tree of Life and gathered fig leaves that mankind fell into sin.

Really? It was the making & wearing of clothes that caused the fall into sin?

And then this (needless?) warning:

Do not disrobe in the parking lot; use the foyer. You may carry a small bag into the church or use the clothing check system near the restrooms.

They have two "traditional" (Yup, nekkid church just like grandma used to attend) and "contemporary" services, as well as Sunday School (so that your children can learn in the sinless state of nudity.)

Hoo-boy...

Additions to Revelation Discovered

Having recently started a sermon series on the book of Revelation, I've been crenelations-deep in study. Whilst preparing a message on chapters 2 and 3--the letters to seven of the churches in Asia Minor--I discovered that there were other missives written that apparently didn't make the canonical cut.

I’ll be reproducing a few of these here at the lab for your edification. Keep in mind, please, that while they may be worthwhile for devotional purposes, they should not be deemed to have Scriptural authority.

To the angel of the church in Cnidus write:

These are the words of Him who wears the floor-length priestly robe and the impressive gold sash about his chest.

I know your deeds. You have a passion for lively fellowship meals. You are steadfast in your visitation to the afflicted and the shut-in. Your generosity has fueled evangelistic efforts throughout the world.

Yet I have this to say against you. Don’t you know what day it is? When you come together to worship me, it is not in your finest clothes that you are adorned. One would think you are simply going to the shuffleboard court (which is silly because it doesn't open ‘til after lunch.)

Nevertheless, there are some among you who have not slackened in their devotion-of-outward-apparel.* Well they have studied and know that while I may look at the heart, your brothers are limited to your outward appearance. And it looks to them like you don’t know whose day it is.

He that has ears to hear, let him hear what the Spirit says to the churches. To the one that overcomes this, or at least masters the art of "dress-casual," I will give a limitless gift certificate to Harps, Halos And Beyond.**
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*A compound Greek word that has no good parallel in English. Perhaps "fashion-faithfulness"?
**Some scholars assert that the triple alliteration is essential, and suggest instead translating it "Harps, Halos And Hereafter."

P.S. Yes, I know about Rev. 22:18.

My secret superhero identity

It's time to reveal something to all of you, my readers.

I am a superhero.

Yup. Secret identity and everything.

If you can keep it to yourself, I will tell you who I am. Swear to secrecy? Okay.


By day, I am an arrogant, genius-level, shockingly-blue mad scientist's brain in a jar, but when the work day is over, I become...


　
CAPTAIN OBLIVIOUS!

Wherever there is trouble (that I'm not causing,) I will not notice it! When disaster strikes, I'll be in a comfy chair, absorbed in a good book! When the world needs a hero, they can call on me--and my voice mail will get the message! And I rarely check my voicemail, for I am Captain Oblivious!

Hear my mighty battle cry: "What? When did this happen?"
　


Now that you know, please don't tell anybody. If my parents ever find out, they might not let me use their basement as my secret headquarters.
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Spent much of last week helping my parents move.
Hope to do some decent blogging soon.

Sign me up!

Or for introverts.

Personally, I'm still looking for a church like this.

Brought to you by Real Life Adventures.

Try it on your friends!

One of my favorite jokes from my college days welled up from between the bluish crenellations of my atomically-enhanced-and-better-than-your brain recently. It's still funny, I think.

Make a circle with your index finger and thumb. Ask your neighbor, "Can you poke your head through this hole?"

When they deny their ability, assure them that you can. Put the "hole" near your forehead. Then jab the index finger of your opposite hand through the "hole" and "poke" your head.