Friday, February 16, 2007

New Christian Product!

Ready to hit the market any decade now, it's the hottest new Christian product: THE MAGNIFY CHRIST 8 BALL!
Toys like the popular so-called "magic" 8 ball are just one slippery step away from simple divination, and a gateway to the occult. So, may we suggest a more Biblical alternative? Rather than vague, horoscope-like answers, THE MAGNIFY CHRIST 8 BALL offers the approved, sure counsel of God's own Word! The perfect gift for that young person uncertain about their future! When you shake up THE MAGNIFY CHRIST 8 BALL and turn it over, you get Spiritually-sound advice like:

"Do not practice divination or sorcery." Leviticus 19:26

"To the law and to the testimony!" Isaiah 8:20

"Let no one be found among you who... practices divination or sorcery, interprets omens..." Deuteronomy 18:10

"Do not listen to your prophets, your diviners, your interpreters of dreams, your mediums or your sorcerers" Jeremiah 27:9

"Shouldn't a people inquire of their God?" Isaiah 8:19

Look for it soon at your local Christian store, and slightly later-on at Kinda Kitschy!

OR, find it now at your participating location! Or call us at number flashing annoyingly at the bottom of your screen! Lobotomized zombie operators are standing by, because we can't afford chairs. Call now!


Diesel said...

I feel bad for the zombies.

Somebody should shoot them in the head.

The Ironic Catholic said...

You know, this would actually sell....

Allen said...

Sadly, yes. It probably would. I originally was going to call it the "tragic" 8 ball, but that name was already taken.

Gregory said...

Adventures In Hypothetical Commercialism