Friday, February 16, 2007

New Christian Product!

Ready to hit the market any decade now, it's the hottest new Christian product: THE MAGNIFY CHRIST 8 BALL!
Toys like the popular so-called "magic" 8 ball are just one slippery step away from simple divination, and a gateway to the occult. So, may we suggest a more Biblical alternative? Rather than vague, horoscope-like answers, THE MAGNIFY CHRIST 8 BALL offers the approved, sure counsel of God's own Word! The perfect gift for that young person uncertain about their future! When you shake up THE MAGNIFY CHRIST 8 BALL and turn it over, you get Spiritually-sound advice like:

"Do not practice divination or sorcery." Leviticus 19:26

"To the law and to the testimony!" Isaiah 8:20

"Let no one be found among you who... practices divination or sorcery, interprets omens..." Deuteronomy 18:10

"Do not listen to your prophets, your diviners, your interpreters of dreams, your mediums or your sorcerers" Jeremiah 27:9

"Shouldn't a people inquire of their God?" Isaiah 8:19

Look for it soon at your local Christian store, and slightly later-on at Kinda Kitschy!

OR, find it now at your participating humor-blogs.com location! Or call us at number flashing annoyingly at the bottom of your screen! Lobotomized zombie operators are standing by, because we can't afford chairs. Call now!

4 comments:

Diesel said...

I feel bad for the zombies.

Somebody should shoot them in the head.

The Ironic Catholic said...

You know, this would actually sell....

Allen said...

Sadly, yes. It probably would. I originally was going to call it the "tragic" 8 ball, but that name was already taken.

Gregory said...

Adventures In Hypothetical Commercialism