Saturday, July 28, 2007

God Answers Spam?

Perhaps you have seen the slogan on a church sign: “God answers knee-mail.” It’s clever, I suppose, in that it compares our prayer to emails in God’s in-box. Additionally, it updates an over-tread line, “God answers prayer.”

It makes one wonder if—in some distant past moment—a Christian made the comment, “God answers our prayer-a-grams promptly!” or “God answers prayers faster than the Pony Express!” Maybe someday soon there’ll be some church marquee reading “Prayers are like IM’s with no need for a signal!”

It makes me wonder, though: If prayers are emails to God, does God ever get Spam?
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Gracious and Almighty God, I have this huge chunk of money in a bank in Nigeria, and I want to share it with you. All you need to do is respond to this prayer with your…

Yo Gawd! Arr U as Allmitey as U usst 2 b? Git Ni@gr@ 4 cheep!

Are a Lonely Deity?? Meet new worshipers tonite!

O Omniscient One! See beings made in Your Image engage in highly-creative sexual perversions with one another. !!!Free Video!!!

Vishnu531, information about your new purchase on eBay.

Oh Mani Padme Hum… Whoops, sorry ‘bout that!

2 comments:

The Ironic Catholic said...

Personally, I think God smites spammers.

Sodom and Spamorah, you know.

(I know, groan)

PraiseDivineMercy said...

"...and on the eighth day (when God wasn't looking) the devil created spam, and there was much wailing and grinding of teeth.

But then Adam did hold the holy hand grenade of antioch on high, and blew his enemies into little bitties."--The Book of Monty Python