Ahoy, Readers!

We at ICFAB are pleased to have Captain No-Beard of the S.S. Leaky Sieve as our guest writer today.
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Hello, loyal readers of the blogosphere! I have taken on the challenge today of Talk Like a Blogger Day, and the fine individual at It Came From Allen's Brain invited me to guest post.

My day aboard the Sieve has been especially trying. First Mate Crusty Gobwallop has been a real pain in the neck, asking questions like "How do we know when we've crossed the border into another sea?" and "Wouldn't it be counter-productive for Blackbeard to actually create a map so someone else could find his treasure?" I'm quite fed up with him, and having already addressed this issue with him twice, I am forced to take more decisive action. I may make him kiss the gunner's daughter or keelhaul him if he doesn't watch his step. Or maybe I'll just force him to drink decaf only.

Gene LaFeet has been sending me threatening emails again, about that nine pieces of eight I supposedly owe him. As usual, it was exceptionally nasty and smug. What hurts more than that was that it was entirely written in French, and I had to translate it in order to get insulted! Never again will I buy parrots on eBay from that French expletive-deleted! I would encourage others to likewise boycott that [blogger-appropriate term for "lily-livered scalawag"]!

I think bonny Anne Bonny was making eyes at me behind my back again today at lunch. Perhaps I should invite her to dinner and a hanging. What do you think?

That's all for now. Until next time, keep swashing them buckles, Me Hearties! (well, I guess I blew the talk like a blogger thing!)

-Cap'n No-Beard