Letter from an old acquaintance

Prodigal Pete
2121 Father's House

Hey Pete,

Remember me? We used to have some great times on the farm, didn't we? Nobody served up slop quite the way you did--and no one was more appreciative than me! Things are great, here on the farm. The warm sunshine, the cool mud, and the slop, Buddy! Oh that glorious slop! It's been a really good year for those seed pods! The growing season has added more flavor to them than I can ever remember!

Hey Pete, remember that time you tried to swipe a few pods out of the trough when you were slopping us? Man! You about lost your fingers that time!

How's that "father" of yours treating you? I heard about the new clothes and the signet ring. I bet it turned your finger green, didn't it? I know these things! And I'll bet he's got you workin' your fingers to the hoof, doesn't he? Y'know, I bet Ted the formerly-lost sheep doesn't have to deal with all that. You got a raw deal, my friend!

Tell ya what, if you ever get tired of that whole "house and home" crap, your old job is here waitin' for ya' at Mucky Acres. Frankly, this new hireling doesn't do half the job you did, and rumor is, he'll be movin' on soon, if ya catch my meaning! Slop just doesn't taste the same with you gone. You must be getting tired of the honored son schtick by now, anyway. So what do you say? Come on back, for old time's sake!

-Grubby Pigg
Mucky Acres
Far Off Country