Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Allen's Brain Celebrates Earth Day

For Earth Day this year, we members of the SUV Owners of America will be celebrating the beauty of the world by having a wiener roast and bonfire. There's a lovely spot 75 miles away (beautiful, old-growth forest) that each of us will drive to in our own vehicles.

We'll cut down any local trees we need for firewood. Remember, nests make great fire-starters!

Afterwards, we can burn any of the garbage we have left in the bonfire. If you have extra garbage you'd like to bring along and burn--especially aerosol containers and plastics of all varieties--that would be okay as well.

Don't worry about the ugly ash heaps being left behind! There is a major river within walking distance into which we can sweep anything that remains!

Oh my! I still have to get my picnic supplies. Let's see: Styrofoam plates and cups, plastic silverware, hot dogs and buns, six packs of my favorite cola, and plenty of cans of baked beans (beware! methane emissions to follow!) And when they ask me "paper or plastic?", I'll have them double-bag with one of each!

Happy Earth Day, ya' hippies! This post is in green to show that I'm meeting you halfway!

1 comment:

LarryD said...

I hope you remembered to go to Mass first, Allen.