Friday, April 18, 2008

More Melvin

Jesus saith unto his disciples, "Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me."

And Simon Peter cried out, "Don't do it, fellas! Remember the last time he said, 'Trust me'? I wound up sinking in the Sea of Galilee because some Messiah didn't tell me where the rocks were!"

And Jesus replied, "Are you still sore about that whole thing? O ye of little faith, I would've told you where the rocks were, but I didn't think you'd believe me. Now, as I was saying,

"In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you."

"That's true!" said Andrew. "His dad's quite a carpenter! Though why you needed eight bedrooms is beyond me!"

"Ahem," Jesus said, slightly annoyed. "I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. You know the way to the place where I am going."

"Sure we do!" said John, "We've been there lots of times! Turn left at the Kosher Kamel Restaurant, right?"

"Do you think your mom will make us matzoh brie?" asked Philip, licking his chops. "She makes the best matzoh brie!"

Jesus, his sacred ire raised, said to them, "Have I not chosen the twelve of you, and not one has a clue? I'm talking about my Heavenly Father!"

Thomas said to him, "Lord, we've never been there, and we left all the maps in Capernaum, so how can we know the way? I mean, is it even in Nazareth?"

Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me."

Then all the disciples piled atop their master and began walking back and forth upon him. And they all likewise began saying to Jesus and to one another, "Are we there yet?"

Just briefly, Jesus began looking forward to the crucifixion.

I think this may be the first Gospel of Melvin post that didn't mention melons!

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