Thursday, January 14, 2010

The cure is near?

Everyone now knows about the H1N1 virus, an illness so impossible that the original name indicates pigs flying ("swine flew," right?) Speaking of original names, I keep pronouncing the 1's as if they are I's, so that it comes out sounding like the "hiney" virus.

We are fortunate to live in these United States and have immunizations available against the nasty stuff! However, I wonder about the intelligence of some of the pharmacies advertising that you can get shots for H1N1 at their store locations. Here are a couple of the more poorly-worded ads.

H1N1 IS HERE

Thanks. We hadn't heard.

WE HAVE H1N1

Um, I'm sorry to hear that. Be sure to get plenty of bed rest and liquids.

And my favorite:

WE HAVE H1N1 INJECTIONS HERE

As a mad scientist brain-in-a-jar, this fills me with glee! They've bottled the virus, and packaged it in easy-to-use syringes, so I can give it to whomever I wish! I'll take 25, please. I have some very deserving folks in mind.

2 comments:

PaperSmyth said...

Everyone stay away from Allen's Brain! HE'S LITERALLY CARRYING A VIRUS!!!

Wait, dude. Brains in jars do not have hands.

Allen's Brain said...

P.S., keep believing that, and don't take into account the possibility that an atomically-enhanced mad scientist brain might have developed some sort of mechanical hands that could be controlled by telepathy...

and by which I have already injected you with--never mind.