Monday, May 10, 2010

What I learned from Avatar & Vampyr

I watched two movies this weekend: James Cameron’s “Ohmigosh-you-haven’t-seen-it-what’s-wrong-with-you?”-inducing “Avatar” and Carl Theodor Dryer’s 1932 impressionist/horror film “Vampyr.”

Things I learned from watching Avatar:

-Apparently, there IS such a thing as a noble savage.
-Soldiers are bad–unless they’re oppressed minorities, then they’re brave and noble.

-Technology is evil–unless it’s being used by oppressed minorities.
-Using animals for your own purposes (like riding, hunting, & eating) is bad, unless you’re the aforementioned noble savage.
-USB & phone-line internet connections are simply primitive.
-Three hours watching a tepid, fantasy-oriented recreation of the American Indian Wars cannot be reclaimed.

Things I learned from watching Vampyr:

-The Germans were WAY ahead of the U.S. in the cinematic arts.
-However, dramatic range was not as valued in the 1930s as it is today.
-Julian West looked like H.P. Lovecraft, and never closed his mouth.
-I just realized how much I want a yacht, so I can name it “The Lovecraft.”
-You don’t need gazillion-dollar special effects to create a creepy, unsettling movie.
-Vampires will often drive their victims to suicide.
-You can kill a vampire by burying him in flour. (Something the Capt Kronos series could’ve taken advantage of, no doubt)

Oh yes. I also saw the “Clash of the Titans” remake on Friday. Surprisingly, it has less nudity & sex than the 1980's version.

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