Tuesday, December 28, 2010

What I have learned so far...

... about the rare and fascinating creature known as the Trcuk is the result of a journey that began on Sunday afternoon, when I saw a sign advertising "Trcuk Parking."

What I first discovered is how difficult it is to learn about something for which there's no Wikipedia article.

The Trcuk (pronounced, as best as I can figure, "Trr-Cook") is a large ungulate--that is, a hoofed mammal--with three pronged antlers (or maybe it's three-pronged antlers; the research varies.)

Subsisting on cranberries and mothballs, its native habitat is department stores and warehouses in Maine. The mothball-eating, suggests one, scholar is a self-defense mechanism.  Apparently, the ears of the trcuk (sometimes spelled "tr'cuk") are a deemed a rare delicacy by many varieties of moths, but the ingestion of  mothballs over time makes them unpalatable.

The downside to this clever defense is that mothball breath also makes the trcuk practically unbearable to the opposite sex. As a result, trcuk's don't often get dates, and even more rarely get a chance to reproduce. This is why they are so rare. The saving grace for the trcuk's survival as a species is that the ingestion of enough cranberries covers up the scent of the mothballs.

Because of their status as an endangered species, there are preserves across the United States expressly created to protect and facilitate the mating habits of the trcuk. These preserves are called "Trcuk Parking Lots."

Additionally, the trcuk may increase their numbers by adopting ineligible and undesirable nerdy singles from other herds and species.

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