Wednesday, September 28, 2011

If you are what you eat, then . . .

. . . I'm delicious!

. . . I'm fast and cheap.

. . . I'm spicy!

. . . I'm Chinese/Italian/Mexican

. . . I'm 75% bacon

. . . I must be a cannibal.

. . . I'm a vegetable. (for vegetarians)

. . . I'm gonna need a doggy bag.

How would you finish this?


PaperSmyth said...

"And how would you finish this?"

Can I have some soy sauce packets? And the check, please?

(Not really, but for the sake of humor, yeah.)

hmsnow.novelist said...

Other possible endings:
...I'm saucy! (For PaperSmyth) :)
...I can reduce your cholesterol!
...You can't eat just one of me!
...I'm in season!
...I'm locally-sourced and organic!

(By the way, does one eat cannibals? I thought it was the other way around. Now there's a tautology for you... and for some reason, the phrase "Am I my brother's keeper?" just sprang to mind. Hmmm....

Allen's Brain said...

PaperSmyth, "the sake' of humor"?

HMS, nice! I just figured, "If I really AM what I eat, and I'm a human being, then I must be eating human beings, and, therefore, am a cannibal." I guess you could still eat cannibals, if they ate someone else first. Of course, they won't eat me, because I taste weird.

"Keep" as in, "in the fridge"?

"How To Serve Your Fellow Man" also comes to mind.

Allen's Brain said...

Another friend suggested a t-shirt that reads something like:
If you are what you eat...
-On Monday, I'm Mexican, because I had a burrito.
-On Tuesday, I had pizza, so I'm Italian.
-On Wednesday, I'm Chinese.
-On Thursday, I'm Cajun.
-On Friday, I'm a fish.

hmsnow.novelist said...

"The sake of humor" sounds vaguely mystical, like something you'd find in a magic cave on top of a Japanese mountain along with something called the Sword of Wrath (or the Hammer of Not Bickering, if you're a fan of the movie Mystery Men).

Anyway, I don't think it's wise, drinking funny sake. Always look for a reputable label when consuming foreign wines, I'm told.

Allen's Brain said...

It's hidden beneath the obi of waist-flattening, because of all that stuff you ate--and now are.

Incidentally, if I'm a brain-in-a-jar, does that make me a zombie?