Monday, October 02, 2006

Snazzy costume idea

Looking for something a bit different for your next costumed affair? How about this?
Pair an Abe Lincoln mask & top hat with a flannel shirt, jeans, boots, and a hatchet. Ta-da! You're a "Lincoln Logger"!

The party was going very well when the great conductor, Herr Murgenstrom, stepped to the mic with a guitar and began to play an uptempo blues version of B.B. King's "I've Got A Woman, Mean As She Can Be," but the lyrics were his own:

"Well, I swam into the smoke shop, just to use their butterfly,
"And I asked the parking meter why he made the watermelon cry.
"Brontosaurus, unicycle, smell another glass of pie."

"Well I always get a nosebleed when the weather is furry and green,
"So vote to muffler applesauce; the lightbulb gets the walrus clean.
"Flannel-coated asteroids spill pinecones in my Listerine."

"Banjo-wearing Democrats, Napoleon is made of cheese.
"Helium Bermuda shorts, the hairbrush waddles pekingese.
"The toaster needs a haircut, and her melancholy cannot sneeze."

"Drum solo!" he yelped, and from out of the shadows stepped a Sousaphone player and a banjo player, who launched into a jaunty polka rendition of "Did You Ever See A Lassie." After a verse and a chorus, Herr Murgenstrom returned to the mic for one more blues verse.

"Now this is a blues song that makes no sense at all,
"Except for that line. Wart hog, Eskimo, leaves in fall.
"Synchronized swimming, gravel, peanut butter, cell-phone call."

--From Twenty Uses for a Burnt-Out Light Bulb,
a non-existent novel by Allen Hickerson

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