Friday, November 03, 2006

History-Shaping events

On this date in history:

***6,000 B.C., Somewhere in Upper Egypt - Adja Tu-khen-bo executed for treading upon a palace scarab, angering the sun god Ra, and then concocting a bizarre plan called Daylight Savings Time to cover his crime and explain darkness arriving earlier and earlier. All are forbidden to speak of Tu-khen-bo's actions, and the concept is lost.

***1670 A.D., Antigua - Peg-Nosed Bernard the pirate is shunned by the pirate fashion community for refusing to not wear an eyepatch or tricorner hat, opting instead for khaki trousers and a shirt bearing the legend "Leet." Bernard is arrested and subsequently executed when he attempts to sneak into a concert hall to hear an orchestra, claiming his innocence since someone else on his crew had indeed purchased tickets to the concert.

***1986, Griffin, NJ - 11-year-old comic fan Kenny Warzowski is bitten by a radioactive goldfish, yet recieves no super powers. Warzowski is reported to be "disappointed."

***2006 A.D., Pawnee, IL - Blogger fails to come up with anything witty to write.


Gregory said...

***2006 A.D., MO - Amateur, and woefully inadequate, blogger, regrets not including other, wittier, blogger in his "Five Funny Blogs" list.

Allen said...

***2006 A.D., IL - Blogger found trapped in office, unable to pass through the doorway due to cranial-expansion, or, "swelled head." Witnesses claim they heard disturbing, maniacal laughter coming from said office.