845 B.C. Israel, Shepherd boy David tested for steroid use after defeat of battle favorite, Goliath of Gath.
75 A.D. Rome, large neighborhood catches fire when an unnamed innovator tries out new "candle," which spews fireballs skyward.
1777, Philadelphia, Thomas Jefferson pens the less-popular "Declaration of Independent Cinema," and narrowly escapes being burned as a witch.
1980, Philadelphia, Blue-eyed soul duo Hall & Oates hit on musical gold when Oates suggests they change the name of their song "Lieutenant Eyes" to "Private Eyes."
2015, Chicago, Gasoline prices hit 25 dollars per gallon. Mass confusion reigns, since the dollar has long ago been replaced by the Canadian Peso, or "Loopy."
Showing posts with label this day in history. Show all posts
Showing posts with label this day in history. Show all posts
Thursday, July 03, 2008
Tuesday, April 01, 2008
On this day in history...
1153, Bjorn Thorrfindahl makes landfall near present-day Sweet Valley, AR, USA. Carves rune stone that is later translated "Am fifth day lost. GPS failed again. Buried beneath great oak tree."
1154, Thorrfindahl leaves behind another rune stone: "Chopped down great oak tree for firewood."
1390, French peasantry revolt in protest against wandering minstrels being replaced by travelling mimes.
1610, Bible translators in the employ of King James fabricate a 3rd Epistle of Peter and insert it after Lamentations as a joke. They are discovered and subsequently hanged for the offense. No one catches on to their other April Fool's gag: replacing the 53rd Psalm with a copy of the 14th.
1844, Dr Hermann Schoebler develops the rhinoprosthesis, an artificial nasal appliance for sufferers of facial disfiguration. With many different models to choose from, Schoebel makes it perfectly acceptable to pick your nose in public.
1908, Andrew Volling, inventor of the vinyl bicycle, is born.
1974, Future blogger and brain-in-a-jar, Allen is born.
2008, Allen's Brain invents an absurd story about a trip forward one week in time as an excuse for not blogging recently.
1154, Thorrfindahl leaves behind another rune stone: "Chopped down great oak tree for firewood."
1390, French peasantry revolt in protest against wandering minstrels being replaced by travelling mimes.
1610, Bible translators in the employ of King James fabricate a 3rd Epistle of Peter and insert it after Lamentations as a joke. They are discovered and subsequently hanged for the offense. No one catches on to their other April Fool's gag: replacing the 53rd Psalm with a copy of the 14th.
1844, Dr Hermann Schoebler develops the rhinoprosthesis, an artificial nasal appliance for sufferers of facial disfiguration. With many different models to choose from, Schoebel makes it perfectly acceptable to pick your nose in public.
1908, Andrew Volling, inventor of the vinyl bicycle, is born.
1974, Future blogger and brain-in-a-jar, Allen is born.
2008, Allen's Brain invents an absurd story about a trip forward one week in time as an excuse for not blogging recently.
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
Other Things to Remember Today
Not to lessen the tragedy or cheapen the memory of events that took place in the U.S. six years ago, but many other things happened on this day as well.
If constant replays of crumbling tower footage and soundbites of "Today, six years ago..." are bumming you out, here's some other less notable things to memorialize today.
On this day in history:
1875 - "Professor Tidwissel's Burglar Alarm" was featured in the New York Daily Graphic and became the first comic strip to appear in a newspaper.
1877 - The first comic-character timepiece was patented by the Waterbury Clock Company.
1883 - The mail chute was patented by James Cutler. The new device was first used in the Elwood Building in Rochester, NY.
1936 - Boulder Dam in Nevada was dedicated by U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt by turning on the dam's first hydroelectric generator. The dam is now called Hoover Dam.
1952 - Dr. Charles Hufnagel successfully replaced a diseased aorta valve with an artificial valve made of plastic.
1954 - The Miss America beauty pageant made its network TV debut on ABC. Miss California, Lee Ann Meriwether, was the winner.
1974 - "Little House On The Prairie" made its television debut.
1974 - The St. Louis Cardinals and the New York Mets set a National League record when they played 25 innings. It was the second longest game in professional baseball history.
If constant replays of crumbling tower footage and soundbites of "Today, six years ago..." are bumming you out, here's some other less notable things to memorialize today.
On this day in history:
1875 - "Professor Tidwissel's Burglar Alarm" was featured in the New York Daily Graphic and became the first comic strip to appear in a newspaper.
1877 - The first comic-character timepiece was patented by the Waterbury Clock Company.
1883 - The mail chute was patented by James Cutler. The new device was first used in the Elwood Building in Rochester, NY.
1936 - Boulder Dam in Nevada was dedicated by U.S. President Franklin D. Roosevelt by turning on the dam's first hydroelectric generator. The dam is now called Hoover Dam.
1952 - Dr. Charles Hufnagel successfully replaced a diseased aorta valve with an artificial valve made of plastic.
1954 - The Miss America beauty pageant made its network TV debut on ABC. Miss California, Lee Ann Meriwether, was the winner.
1974 - "Little House On The Prairie" made its television debut.
1974 - The St. Louis Cardinals and the New York Mets set a National League record when they played 25 innings. It was the second longest game in professional baseball history.
Thursday, May 10, 2007
On this day in history…
King David of Israel beats public indecency charge in near-nude “praise” dancing.
Four-and-Twenty Blackbirds sue royal chef who baked them into a pie. The birds claimed they were victims of fowl play, and that they were supposed to be shipped to the mathematician next door, who needed help with pi.
A young George Washington pleads guilty to grisly axe murder of local girl, Sherry Tree.
Marconi, having a bad day, invents the rodeo.
Vikings discover New Jersey, but don’t mention it. Insisting that there was nothing wrong with their old jerseys, they are later appointed as city council members.
Blog readers regret having followed the link here from humor-blogs.com.
Four-and-Twenty Blackbirds sue royal chef who baked them into a pie. The birds claimed they were victims of fowl play, and that they were supposed to be shipped to the mathematician next door, who needed help with pi.
A young George Washington pleads guilty to grisly axe murder of local girl, Sherry Tree.
Marconi, having a bad day, invents the rodeo.
Vikings discover New Jersey, but don’t mention it. Insisting that there was nothing wrong with their old jerseys, they are later appointed as city council members.
Blog readers regret having followed the link here from humor-blogs.com.
Thursday, March 29, 2007
On this day in history...
On this day in 2007, Allen's Brain mourns the fact that no one showed for his Wednesday night edition of "Journey to the Cross," but is consoled by the fact that few were enthusiastic when Jesus walked the original one.
On this day in 2007, a blogger waits impatiently for his landlord to come fix the leek in his ceiling, the cucumber in his floor, and the endive sprouting from the east wall. Ah, but little does he know that these are his salad days, My Friends!
On this day in 2015, physicist Heinrich bonVohr discovers the subatomic particle known as the bigon.
On this day in 2021, Heinrich bonVohr attempts to split the bigon particle. The ensuing explosion destroys his lab, and everything else in a five-block radius. Vohr is unharmed, having made the experiment by remote control. He is disappointed, but decides never to repeat the experiment, stating, "It was too dangerous, and it's probably better to just let bigons be bigons."
On this day in 2008, Allen's Brain is barred from humor-blogs.com for submitting his worst pun yet. Three die, groaning.
On this day in 2007, a blogger waits impatiently for his landlord to come fix the leek in his ceiling, the cucumber in his floor, and the endive sprouting from the east wall. Ah, but little does he know that these are his salad days, My Friends!
On this day in 2015, physicist Heinrich bonVohr discovers the subatomic particle known as the bigon.
On this day in 2021, Heinrich bonVohr attempts to split the bigon particle. The ensuing explosion destroys his lab, and everything else in a five-block radius. Vohr is unharmed, having made the experiment by remote control. He is disappointed, but decides never to repeat the experiment, stating, "It was too dangerous, and it's probably better to just let bigons be bigons."
On this day in 2008, Allen's Brain is barred from humor-blogs.com for submitting his worst pun yet. Three die, groaning.
Friday, November 03, 2006
History-Shaping events
On this date in history:
***6,000 B.C., Somewhere in Upper Egypt - Adja Tu-khen-bo executed for treading upon a palace scarab, angering the sun god Ra, and then concocting a bizarre plan called Daylight Savings Time to cover his crime and explain darkness arriving earlier and earlier. All are forbidden to speak of Tu-khen-bo's actions, and the concept is lost.
***1670 A.D., Antigua - Peg-Nosed Bernard the pirate is shunned by the pirate fashion community for refusing to not wear an eyepatch or tricorner hat, opting instead for khaki trousers and a shirt bearing the legend "Leet." Bernard is arrested and subsequently executed when he attempts to sneak into a concert hall to hear an orchestra, claiming his innocence since someone else on his crew had indeed purchased tickets to the concert.
***1986, Griffin, NJ - 11-year-old comic fan Kenny Warzowski is bitten by a radioactive goldfish, yet recieves no super powers. Warzowski is reported to be "disappointed."
***2006 A.D., Pawnee, IL - Blogger fails to come up with anything witty to write.
***6,000 B.C., Somewhere in Upper Egypt - Adja Tu-khen-bo executed for treading upon a palace scarab, angering the sun god Ra, and then concocting a bizarre plan called Daylight Savings Time to cover his crime and explain darkness arriving earlier and earlier. All are forbidden to speak of Tu-khen-bo's actions, and the concept is lost.
***1670 A.D., Antigua - Peg-Nosed Bernard the pirate is shunned by the pirate fashion community for refusing to not wear an eyepatch or tricorner hat, opting instead for khaki trousers and a shirt bearing the legend "Leet." Bernard is arrested and subsequently executed when he attempts to sneak into a concert hall to hear an orchestra, claiming his innocence since someone else on his crew had indeed purchased tickets to the concert.
***1986, Griffin, NJ - 11-year-old comic fan Kenny Warzowski is bitten by a radioactive goldfish, yet recieves no super powers. Warzowski is reported to be "disappointed."
***2006 A.D., Pawnee, IL - Blogger fails to come up with anything witty to write.
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