Tuesday, May 22, 2007

(less than) Helpful Hints for Being More Like Moses

Because I don’t want to alienate my Jewish readers unnecessarily…
  • Speak softly and carry a big stick.
  • Get a highly-diverse education. (Sheep-herding AND Egyptology?)
  • Always take the time to listen to the bushes (note the small “b”.)
  • Prepare to have G_d reject your excuses.
  • Liberate your people.
  • If people don’t listen to you, pollute their water supply.
  • Don’t be afraid to destroy sacred cows or golden calves.
  • Lay down the law—don’t throw it down.
  • Remember: Plagues speak louder than words!
  • Camp out more often.
  • Don’t knock free food!
  • Remember: Mountain climbing can be a spiritual experience.
  • Take the road less-traveled, even if it leads through the midst of the sea.
  • Make your brother wear a silly outfit.
  • Ask yourself, “What would Charlton Heston do?”

*****

Ask yourself, "What would humor-blogs.com do?"

2 comments:

The Ironic Catholic said...

I like this--esp. the Scott Peck Meets Exodus 14!

Allen said...

IC,
Thanks for assuming I was familiar with Scott Peck (I had to go look 'im up!)
I was thinking of Robert Frost, actually, but Peck definitely works.