(less than) Helpful Hints for Being More Like Moses

Because I don’t want to alienate my Jewish readers unnecessarily…

• Speak softly and carry a big stick.
• Get a highly-diverse education. (Sheep-herding AND Egyptology?)
• Always take the time to listen to the bushes (note the small “b”.)
• Prepare to have G_d reject your excuses.
• Liberate your people.
• If people don’t listen to you, pollute their water supply.
• Don’t be afraid to destroy sacred cows or golden calves.
• Lay down the law—don’t throw it down.
• Remember: Plagues speak louder than words!
• Camp out more often.
• Don’t knock free food!
• Remember: Mountain climbing can be a spiritual experience.
• Take the road less-traveled, even if it leads through the midst of the sea.
• Make your brother wear a silly outfit.
• Ask yourself, “What would Charlton Heston do?”

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Ask yourself, "What would humor-blogs.com do?"