Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Have a super day!

There seems to be a lot of undue pressure on folks with super-powers to become "heroes" and "rescue" all us other non-super-powered people. What is that about? "With great power comes great responsibility," says Spider-Man. Why? What is the underlying moral principle behind forcing super-powered people into the "hero" mold?

"But that's not true!" you say. "Lots of folks with superpowers become villains instead!"

To this, I say, "Oh. Yeah, that's kinda true, isn't it?"

But why don't we see super-powered Soccer Mom, faithfully driving her tykes to sporting events? What is the reason that ol' Kal-el didn't stick with his Clark Kent identity? Did he really have to don blue spandex and wear his red underpants on the outside? (apparently, with great power does not necessarily come great fashion sense.) Wasn't there ever a day in which The Wonderful Parsnip Man just made toast?

"With spectacular vegetablian might, he draws forth a slice of bread from the bag! Flexing his amazing, all-organic muscles, he plunks the bread slice into the toaster! Then, as only a superhero making a balanced breakfast would do, he pressed down on the toaster lever!
"Soon," he rumbled, "I shall have--toast!"*

I say, leave these poor super-powered people alone! Don't they have a right to a normal life? Let them be accountants or sewage-treatment workers or waitresses! And, for Pete's sake, don't force them to wear spandex!

*Parody of "Wonderful Parsnip Man," issue #35

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