845 B.C. Israel, Shepherd boy David tested for steroid use after defeat of battle favorite, Goliath of Gath.
75 A.D. Rome, large neighborhood catches fire when an unnamed innovator tries out new "candle," which spews fireballs skyward.
1777, Philadelphia, Thomas Jefferson pens the less-popular "Declaration of Independent Cinema," and narrowly escapes being burned as a witch.
1980, Philadelphia, Blue-eyed soul duo Hall & Oates hit on musical gold when Oates suggests they change the name of their song "Lieutenant Eyes" to "Private Eyes."
2015, Chicago, Gasoline prices hit 25 dollars per gallon. Mass confusion reigns, since the dollar has long ago been replaced by the Canadian Peso, or "Loopy."
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