Wednesday, October 01, 2008

Happy First Day of Octo-Bear!

He was created by powers ancient and unholy, forged in nameless places to be comfort and succor to a restless unnameable evil--plaything of a Great Old One!

(Basically, he was made to be Cthulhu's teddy bear.)
Yet, though fraught by ubiquitous evil on every side, the being's inherent goodness fought forth to the surface, resistant to the encroaching blackness. Clawing his way to the dimensions of this world's realm, he stands in brave opposition to the unspeakable forces, wicked and millenia-old. Empowered by eldritch abilities acquired by his birth in the depths of Lovecraftian mythic places, and aided by four horrific, writhing tentacles, Octo-Bear is the final hope for mankind's survival!

Next Issue: Octo-Bear meets serpentine foe, Otcobra!


Gregory said...

If you think teddy bears are inherently good, you obviously haven't met that Snuggle laundry bear.

That thing is a kitchen knife away from a Chucky-esque rampage.

Oh, and: Ia! Ia! Ia! Cthulhu Fthagn! Ph'nglui mglw'nfah Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn!

Allen's Brain said...

"I want to make everything snuggly soft!" giggled Snuggle, raining down repeated blows on my skull with the tenderizing hammer.

Snuggle is not a teddy bear. Snuggle is a corporate icon--and therefore inherently evil.

Actually, Cthulhu no longer lies napping in R'lyeh, thanks to that blasted particle accelerator!