Monday, June 08, 2009

Melvin goes Old Testament?

Now Moses was keeping the flock of his father-in-law Jethro, also called Bodean. As he led the flock to the back side of the desert, south of the armpit, he came to Horeb, the mountain of God.

The angel of God appeared to Moses in a flaming fire in a bush (George, or maybe Anheuser.) And Moses took note that though the bush was burning, it did not burn up.

"Dude!" said Moses. "Whattup wit dat freaky bush?"

And God called to Moses from within the bush, "Moses! Moses!"

And Moses replied, "That's me, but you can call me Moe."

"Hey Moe!" said the Lord in a bizarre falsetto voice. Then in his normal, deity-speaking-from-flaming-shrubbery voice, he said "Take your shoes off, because this place is holy ground."

Moses complied.

"Ugh! Ack! Put 'em back on! Put 'em back on!" wheezed the voice, "And don't come any closer!"

And Moses hid his face in shame, "I know, right? Pretty gnarly."

And God said, "Moses, I am sending you to Egypt, because maybe I won't be able to smell those things from there."

And Moses said, "What? You were mumbling that last part."

"Ahem! I said, '...To bring my people out.' Perhaps a good washing in the Red Sea is just what those sneakers need!"

And Moses said, "Have you smelled my brother Aaron's feet? His are REALLY rank!"


PaperSmyth said...

but you can call me Moe

Have you been dipping into the Veggie Tales again?

Just sayin.

Allen's Brain said...

I've been waiting for the Veggies to add a hot pepper or a coffee bean to their denizens, but so far, no luck.
I DID see "Moe & the Big Exit" once. Do they make the "Hey Moe" joke in there?
More influential on that gag was the fact that Moe Howard (of the Three Stooges) was actually "Moshe (Moses) Horowitz. While we're on the subject, Curly was "Jerome," and Shemp was "Samuel" ("Shemuel" in Hebrew.) Larry "Fine" was actually Feinberg or Feinstein, I think.