Monday, December 28, 2009

Another Christmas passed, but still...

I have never:

-Ridden in a one-horse open sleigh.
Even though I know it isn't the correct lyrics, I still occasionally hear my mouth form the words "one horse soapin' sleigh." I imagine it's some sort of Victorian-era Zamboni with bars of soap and rags instead of runner blades, used to clean and polish frozen ponds and ice rinks.
I found myself singing the whole line as a question at least twice this year: "Oh, what fun is it to ride in a one horse open sleigh?"

-Decked ANY halls with boughs of holly.
Sure, I've put up holyday greenery around the house and church building, but it's usually of the coniferous evergreen variety--and always artificial, to the best of my recollection. Now, there may have been some plastic holly sprigs on candle arrangements or something, but entire boughs? No.
I still sing it "boodjuhs of holly," after the animated Little Rascals Christmas special from my childhood.

-Roasted chestnuts on an open fire.
In college, and since then, I have sung it,

"Jack Frost roasting on an open fire.
Chestnuts nipping at your nose.
Hog-tied Harold being hung by a choir
Composed of angry Eskimos that everybody knows.
Beef jerky and a wounded toe
Help to make the season blight.
Tater tots with a nuclear glow
Make it hard to sleep at night..."
-Told ghost stories at Christmas time.
"There'll be scary ghost stories and tales of the glories of Christmases long, long ago." So says the song, "It's The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year." I've never found that to be part of my holyday activities.
I do give a listen to Patrick Stewart's reading of Dickens' "A Christmas Carol" every year recently, so maybe that counts.
And... to be inclusive, I guess...
-Made a dreidel out of clay.
I've made them out of cardboard. I've played with plastic ones and wood ones. I have seen kits online for clay dreidel-making kits, but I've never made one.
~sigh~ Maybe next year.


CMinor said...

Good send-up of the Christmas Song! We've often roasted Jack Frost as well, but we tend to run out of lyrics after those chestnuts start nippin' our toes. But no more!

Allen's Brain said...

Glad you liked it! I had to do something with my brain when I was in college, washing dishes in the cafeteria.
Of course, that was before the accident that left me just a brain in a jar.

PaperSmyth said...

Um, do I dare ask how your fruit cake turned out?