ONWARD TO THE FUNNEE!
--God makes a bet with Satan. Now, if God sees the future and knows it--and even controls it, it's not really much of a wager on his part. If Satan knows that God knows all this, he's a dummy for suggesting the bet.
--Job's 3 (+1) friends, for all of their brilliance in logic, rhetoric and eloquence are never wiser than when they keep their traps shut that first week. Really? You've got a week to compose these great long speeches, and not one of you could have said something comforting?
--Job's response to the 3 friends is classic in its bitter sarcasm:
Then Job replied: "How you have helped the powerless! How you have saved the arm that is feeble! What advice you have offered to one without wisdom! And what great insight you have displayed! Who has helped you utter these words? And whose spirit spoke from your mouth? - Job 26:1-4Basically, "Thanks for all the help, Geniuses!"
--The angry young punk, Elihu, who starts ranting in chapter 32 and doesn't finish his sermon until the end of chapter 37, gets completely ignored! Job doesn't even have a chance to respond, because God says, "Alright! That's quite enough out of you! It's time for my soliloquy!"
"Then the LORD answered Job out of the whirlwind and said..." - Job 38:1Nobody pays any attention to this young whippersnapper's rampage! Not Job. Not God. Not the other three "friends." Nobody! It's as if everyone takes a breath and says, "Moving on, then..."
--Job insists that God has wronged him. God says, "Yes, yes, but what about the ostrich?"
Job say God's been unjust. God says, "How about that wild donkey?"
Job demands God give him a hearing. God says, "The horse and the eagle: aren't they something else?"
--Job says, "Yeah, you're right. I was off-base. I'll shut up now." That's early in chapter 40.
But God, in classic chewing-out fashion, says, "I'm not done with you yet!" and goes on for two more chapters!
--Just when Eliphaz, Bildad, and Zophar thought they might be off the hook... God turns to them and gives them a piece of his mind!
--Job's nagging wife, left over from the beginning of this tragedy, gets her just deserts, too. She has to be pregnant with ten more kids!