Monday, January 23, 2012

Why they don't let me teach Jr High Social Studies

Chapter 15 Study Guide

Key terms, people, events, places:

1. Serfs: Rides the ocean waves on a long board.

2. Humanism: Belief in the existence of humans -- "A human is, um..."

3. Imperialism: Going to Burger King in ancient Rome.

4. Czar: The wrong way to spell "car."

5. Communism: People can catch your disease.

6. Athens: Where people who hate chickens direct their anger.

7. Feudalism: Belief in fighting and arguing.

8. Industrial Revolution: Spinning dusty businesses.

9. Textiles: An ancient style of instant-messaging using squares of stone or ceramic.

10. Alliance: 100% of iance.

11. Westernization: Creating a world filled with cowboys.

12. Vladimir Lenin: Lead singer for the Russian Beatles.

13. Dictator: A bossy spud.

14. Cold War: Battle for control of the thermostat in December.

15. Destructive Nationalism: Burning someone else's flag.

Answer the following:

16. How was Alexander the Great able to spread Greek culture throughout the world?

      Facebook, of course.

17. What ancient civilization did we inherit the idea of an organized system of written down laws from?

      Grammar Nazis?

18. During the Renaissance, how did the formation of the middle class cause monarchs not to need the help of feudal lords?

      People used to fight during lunch hour, so they needed feudal lords to make rulings on who the winners were. Then, they developed a middle class. It took place between morning and afternoon classes. It kept people too busy for feuds.

19. How did science change during the Age of Revolution?

      Spelling. It used to be spelled "syints."

20. How did Peter the Great and Catherine the Great westernize Russia?

      They imported more John Wayne movies.

21. What was the Russian Congress called, and which czar was forced to instate it?

      "Congressnik."  Czar Boris the Badenov had to create it, to "stop moose and squirrel."

22. What form of government did Vladimir Lenin bring to Russia?

      Popsiclism: rule by frozen treats.

See Why they don't let me judge the Science Fair.


PaperSmyth said...

Funny post!!! Love your puns, as always!

"20. How did Peter the Great and Catherine the Great westernize Russia?

They imported more John Wayne movies."

You know, that answer is shockingly parallel with reality. :-) Maybe you should teach Middle School Social Studies.

(No fair taking me seriously! Certain Russian historians of my acquaintance would flail me alive!)

Joe Potillor said...


My Russian best friend would see to my death if I ever said any of these things...

Joe of St Therese :)