Thursday, March 08, 2012

Special Report 2, Purim 2012

This is Special Report, with Wolf Blitzkrieg!

Good day, Ladies and Gentlemen. A strange procession is currently taking place in the capitol city! As I speak to you, Mordecai the Jew is being led on horseback through the city streets, dressed in royal robes. The horse is apparently one of the king’s own choice steeds, and the man leading the horse is shouting, “This is what is done for the man the king delights to honor!” What is truly stunning about all of this, is that the man leading the horse and making the announcement is none other Prime Minister Haman!

We have known for some time that there was a great deal of ill will between Mordecai and Haman, so we contacted our sources inside the palace. You may remember some time back that Mordecai foiled an assassination plot against the king. Last night, the king decided to repay him. When he asked Haman what should be done to honor someone special, this is what the prime minister came up with. It seems likely that Haman was hoping that this procession would be bestowed upon him, and not his worst enemy.

Haman (entering): And that’s the last of the streets! Zeresh, my wife, you’ll never believe the day I’ve had!

Zeresh: And what did you expect? Your enemy Mordecai is Jewish! They always come out on top! Oh look! Here comes the limo to take you to the palace for dinner! Have a good time, Dear!

Wolf: You heard it here, folks. It has been a very trying day for Haman! In Shushan, I’m Wolf Blitzkrieg.


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