Saturday, September 14, 2013

My bad!

By the time you read this, you will likely have already heard about it on the news or read about it online. I'm talking about the bizarre appearance of large bipedal lizards here in the Midwest U.S.

I regretfully admit, that's my fault.

I was craving guacamole, and a friend had given me some jalapenos and tomatoes. I hit the grocery stores for avocados, and came up empty-handed after several of them. Finally, I went to a little Asian food market, which I don't normally go to, but I was virtually out of options. At last! Avocado pay dirt! Odd. I don't usually associate Asian cuisine with avocados.

The fruit were far from ripe, but these hot final days of summer were perfect for window-ripening avocados. I put them on the dash of my car to let them get soft and dark as I drove around that day. They were nowhere near ready by the end of that day, so I left them in the window over night. And the next day. By evening, they seemed that maybe they were getting a little darker.

Around noon on the third day, there was the sound of shattering glass in the parking lot. My car's windshield had been broken, and upon investigation, I found that a hungry vandal had torn into the ripening avocados, and eaten them--leathery husks curling in the hot sun!

No one I spoke to saw anything, and it was days before I realized that the glass had been shattered outward, not in! By that time, of course, reports were already rolling in to the police stations and animal control offices.

What I thought were an Asian variety of avocados were actually Godzilla eggs!

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