Friday, December 21, 2007

Not exactly canonical . . .

Imagine, if you will, (because if you won't, this is really gonna be an uphill battle) it's that very first Christmas morning. Mary and Joseph are gathered 'round the festal manger, gazing down at it in appropriate awe and wonder, especially wonder.

Mary was wondering where Joseph had found those hideous big red socks he'd hung on the wall, and what on earth he had stuffed them with. If the early months of their engagement had taught her anything, it was that Joe, while very resourceful, had a love of practical jokes--and no sense of taste whatsoever.

Joseph, still a bit anachronistically shell-shocked from last night, was just wondering what was in the manger.

Joseph: Oh look! What's this?

Mary: It's a present, silly! See, I've wrapped it.

Joseph: ("opening" it) Oh look! A baby! You shouldn't have!

Mary: I know, but I just got into the Christmas spirit, and--

Joseph: The wha-?

Mary: Never mind, Dear. Now, what did you get me?

Joseph: (under his breath) Get her? Oh no! What is it? Her birthday? Our anniversary? Groundhog Day? What? (regular tone) Ahem. Get you?

Mary: You know! For Christmas!

Joseph: (to himself) There's that word again. What is that? One of those Greek holidays? Sounds like something the Juno Club came up with, a relationship test meant to plague husbands. (regular tone) What did I get you? Um, yes… My undying love and affection?

Mary: Wonderful, Hon. Anything else?

Joseph: These really big socks over here! You’re always telling me your feet are cold, after all. (I’ll just dump out this donkey fodder here…)

Mary: A truly romantic gesture, Joseph.

Joseph: Hey! I’m on a budget here! What did you want? Gold? Frankincense? Myrrh?

Mary: Don’t be silly, Darling! Myrrh is for dead people! Oh, would you look at that? Your present needs a diaper change!

And thus was born the practice of "regifting"!

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