Monday, December 24, 2007

Top Ten Christmas Songs that Encourage Violence

It all started with Jingle Bells. Who can ignore the inherently violent line, "What fun it is to ride and sing a slaying song tonight"?

10. the grade-school classic: "Joy to the School (the teacher's dead)"
09. I'm Gettin' Mutton For Christmas (Mutton is my poodle)
08. Ukrainian (Death) Knell Carol
07. Walkin' in A Winter Wonderland (& shootin' up the joint)
06. The German Hymn "Atomic Bomb" (Oh Tannenbaum)
05. Hack! The Herald Angels Sing (with your sharp-edged, pointy things)
04. Whack the Halls (& Smiths, & Williamses, & Guzmans, & . . .)
03. Little Gunner Boy (A-Rat-Tat-Tat-Tat)
02. Rub Out The Red-Nosed Reindeer
01. Santa Claus is Gunning You Down (From a Futurama Christmas episode)

Didn't make the cut: "The Twelve Slays of Christmas."
Reason: Sounded too much like a bad slasher film.

1 comment:

Joanie said...


Check out the10 Christmas songs that wouldn't make you wanna puke list.

Have a Merry one!