Perhaps he could sue Tim LaHaye

Man Cuts Off, Microwaves His Own Hand

Wed Jan 9, 10:18 PM ET
HAYDEN, Idaho - A man who believed he bore the "mark of the beast" used a circular saw to cut off one hand, then he cooked it in the microwave and called 911, authorities said. (Yup. He set the timer for six minutes and sixty-six seconds.)

The man, in his mid-20s, was calm when Kootenai County sheriff's deputies arrived Saturday in this northern Idaho town. He was in protective custody in the mental health unit of Kootenai Medical Center.

"It had been somewhat cooked by the time the deputy arrived," sheriff's Capt. Ben Wolfinger said. "He put a tourniquet on his arm before, so he didn't bleed to death. That kind of mental illness is just sad." ("But it's also kinda funny," commented Allen's Brain.)

It was not immediately clear whether the man has a history of mental illness. Hospital spokeswoman Lisa Johnson would not say whether an attempt was made to reattach the hand, citing patient confidentiality.

The Book of Revelation in the New Testament contains a passage in which an angel is quoted as saying: "If anyone worships the beast and his image and receives his mark on the forehead or on the hand, he, too, will drink the wine of God's fury." (So... was he cooking the hand to have something to eat with the wine?)

The book of Matthew also contains the passage: "And if your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell." (Neither text calls for microwaving it, as far as I can tell.)

Wolfinger said he didn't know which hand was amputated. (Um, check which arm has the bloody stump.)