Thursday, April 03, 2008

The Arsonist Who Loved Catnip, pt 4

There is a principle in criminology which states that an offender is driven by a nearly irresistible inner compulsion to return to the scene of his crime. However, Muffy had never read any criminology textbooks.

Even so, Chief Fire Inspector Ian Ferno felt certain that destiny awaited him at the gutted remains of the Bertram house, destiny in the form of an armed grey tabby cat and a gang known as HISS! Ferno withdrew another handful of alfalfa pellets from pocket and munched nervously on them.

However, Ferno’s vitamin A-sharpened sense of danger was as misguided as a film remake of a 1970s television show. Muffy and HISS! arrived at the Bertram’s new home.

“Oh, this’ll be easy!” drooled Boo-Boo Kittie. “I know just where to place the dynamite to make the whole place go ka-BOOM!”

“No! That’s not what we came here to do! Besides, we forgot the dynamite.”

“Can I slap 'im, Boss?”

“Just once, Fonzie.”

Cat shifted his forepaws and said, gravely, “You have a great personality, and people like you.”

“Then why did I get slapped?” whined Boo-Boo.

“Your lucky numbers are 4, 1, 19, 74, and tuna.”

“Tuna?!” shrieked Cyclops, “Cat, you have finally lost it!”

Cat was nonplussed. “The words of the sages are often hard to fathom.”

“Enough!” spat Comrade Muffy (a title he had just given himself.) “We must think of a way to get inside, and subvert the ruling class!”

Viva la Furry Revolucion!

part 1
part 2
part 3

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