Wednesday, April 06, 2011

Allen's Brain reviews Dear Communion of Saints

Dear Communion of Saints:

I want to write a review for this really humorous book by a very funny Catholic woman whose blog and facebook comments entertain me on a virtually daily basis. My problem is that I'm a small-P protestant that isn't even certain he's a small-C catholic. Can I do this book justice in a review, or should I just stay out of it?

Sincerely (as can be),
Disembodied Online

I hit SEND, and Heaven's virus-protection and anti-spam programs immediately rejects my knee-mail (gag!). However, they DO forward it to some other, lesser community, and  I receive back this message.

Dear Disembodied,

Apparently, you are a Christian in poor standing with any diocese or other ecclesiastial ruling body, and so the Dear Abby-style advice you might have received from "The Communion of Saints" has been re-routed to us, "The Figures Proposed for Canonization and then, Upon Further Review, Suggested for Cannon-ization." We have no nifty acronym, sorry.

It's the holidays, here, and normally we would reject your piddly request altogether. However, since St Espressus of Java and I spoke up for you, I have been allowed to field your question.

Now then, although you don't subscribe to the whole "saint" thing, this didn't get in the way of your enjoyment of the book! And you seemed perfectly happy to venerate Sts Valentine and Patrick earlier this year! Even if you didn't know who many of them were, you could certainly get off your glass-encased gluteas cerebellus* and educate yourself on the lives of these inspiring people in one of the books the Ironic Catholic helpfully listed at the end of D.C.o.S.

And so what if you don't do Mass or Lent? You go to church, and you get the gist of Lent (or you seemed to when you were penitently calling upon God the morning after Mardi Gras.) Besides, much of what's in the book appeals to Christians across the spectrum, like dentistry, Thanksgiving turkeys and the problem of committees! I know you chuckled at the "Just get over it and quit whining" nature of some of the answers.

So, in short: Yes, you should definitely write a review of this book. Your friend, I.C., will appreciate it, and your non-Catholic readers will perhaps be inspired to purchase a copy for themselves, and be amused and blessed. Just make sure that you include links to the print and e-book versions of it!

Disgusted at having been asked to answer such a dumb question,

St Melvin                                            

P.S. Eat more watermelon!
*or "brain-butt"


The Ironic Catholic said...

Allen, you and St Melvin made my day. I'd say Alleluia except it's Lent. So...PTL! and thanks.

Rachel Gray said...

Haha! Very nice review. Also, after reading your brilliant poem, I'm developing great devotion to St. Espressus of Java.

The Ironic Catholic said...

It's an addictive devotion....

(former) Rocket Scientist said...

Glad you enjoyed it! I did. She's got a great sense of humor, as do you.