Thursday, March 08, 2012

Special Report, Purim 2012

We interrupt this broadcast to bring you this very special report!

I’m Wolf Blitzkrieg, here at the palace in Shushan, where Queen Esther has just OUTRAGEOUSLY broken with royal protocol! Now, as we all know, you don’t barge in to the oval office unannounced and uninvited. That’s a surefire way to lose your life!

However, ignoring all that risk, the queen has done precisely that! Just a few moments ago, Esther marched into the throne room, intent on speaking to the king. You folks at home may remember from Civics class that all is not necessarily lost for the queen. There IS a stipulation–a loophole, if you will--that if you approach the king uninvited, but he extends his royal scepter to you, you are permitted to speak with him. Otherwise, it’s all over for Her Highness.

Let’s watch.

There’s the king, on his throne, and the queen is approaching now. Will she be executed for her breach of protocol? No, the king seems happy to see her. He has extended the golden scepter towards the queen. No, wait! That’s not the royal scepter! It’s--a rubber chicken! Is this some kind of joke? Wait, the king is about to speak.

King: Rise, Queen Esther! Sorry about the chicken. The golden scepter is at the royal polisher. You look great, by the way! Have you lost weight?

Esther: Thank you. I haven’t eaten anything in three days.

King: Oh. So... What is your request, My Queen?

Esther: Ummmm... I’ve just finished cooking a scrumptious meal. Why don’t you and Haman come over for dinner?

King: Sounds good to me!

Wolf: Well, there you have it, Ladies and Gentlemen. This is a very baffling conclusion to what began so dramatically. It seems that the queen broke all the rules of palace decorum just to tell her husband that dinner was ready! I’ll be here the rest of the day, to report to you if anything exciting or unusual comes out of this. I can’t imagine what it would be, though.

From Palace Hill, I’m Wolf Blitzkrieg.


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