Sunday, June 01, 2014

More Bananas. More Ears. More Answers.

And why do YOU have a banana in your ear?

- "Oh, I think we BOTH know the answer to THAT, don't we?"
Nudge-nudge, wink-wink, say no more! (I have no idea what this answer is really supposed to imply.)

- "Scientific method: I've worked out the questions of Where I may stick it in my ear, and How. I'm still working on the Why question, though.
Because "Why?" is not the only question that may be asked.

- "Duh! Because I'm a banana tree!"
Isn't it obvious?

- "Well, I tried sticking it in OTHER people's ears, but they didn't like it much."
You see, I really had no choice!

- "Because it's Tuesday (or whatever day it happens to be.)"
Alternatively, you can say "Tuesday" no matter what day it is. When the inquirer explains that it is, in fact, Friday, you can reply, "Oh dear! Well, THAT'S embarrassing! I don't suppose you happen to have a bicycle tire pump on you? No? Well, I guess I'll just have to pay the fine, then."

- "All out of Q-tips."
It's an environmentally-conscious choice.

- "I don't have a banana in my ear. This is someone else's ear. Van Gogh's, I think."
You're not just nuts. You're also cultured.

- "Well, it's not quite ripe."
And I was all out of brown paper sacks.

- "What a weird thing to ask a person! I'd think the more natural thing to ask me about is why I have a banana in my ear!"
I guess this actually a variation on, "No, it's not a bandana. It's a banana."

- "I am not prepared to address that question at this time."
Useful, should you be putting a banana in your ear during a televised press conference.

- "I don't. This is a plantain."
Because no one needs an excuse to put a plantain in their ear, obviously.

- "I dunno. I guess I forgot to ask, 'What would Jesus do?' "
I admit it was a bad decision, and it could've been prevented, but I'm stuck with the consequences, now.