Wisdom from a non-existent book

I created a series of email signatures that have become very popular among those who read them. They were quotations from a (so far) unpublished, nonexistent book. Feeling short on creativity today, I decided to share one of those with you. Perhaps others will follow.

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"'Grandpa'? Is that a nickname?"
"Nope, it's my real name. 'Grandpa Phillips' is the actual name on my birth certificate! Apparently, when I was born, my mom said to my dad, 'Let's name the baby after your grandfather.' So they did. It was kinda' tough growing up. I mean, none of the other girls in my class had a name like 'Grandpa'!"

--From Twenty Uses for a Burnt-Out Light Bulb,

a non-existent novel by Allen Hickerson

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And there you have it!

Listening to: Paquito D'Rivera, "Tropicana Nights"