Monday, January 29, 2007

Religion Discovered at the Atomic Level!

"We have known for quite some time that protons have mass. Who knew that we'd discover that they were also Roman Catholic?" These are the words of physicist Gilbert Vienna, one of an expanding group of scientists who believe that the world of faith and religion can be traced to the atomic and even subatomic level.

"Much of mainline Protestantism, influenced by the teachings of John Calvin, find correspondence to the electron. According to superstring theory, each particle has a corresponding extra-dimensional 'superparticle.' The result is that the Arminian cousin of the Calvinist electron is represented by its superparticle, known as the 'selectron'."

"Judaism is found, naturally, in the neutron. Yiddish speakers have subconsciously known this for centuries, liberally sprinkling the word 'Nu,' throughout their conversations. The superparticle of the neutron has been labelled as the oyveytron. This is strangely appropriate, since Jewishness is represented in both a religious and racial/national context."

"We had a hard time finding Islam, but there is a quark-like particle that has been dubbed the Mohammeton, so that might work."

Oh, and the superparticle that corresponds to the proton? The amateurton.
The blogosphere is going without my pollution for a couple days. I'm finally getting together with my extended family for Christmas this week! This is poor timing on my part, since I've just joined humor-blogs!


Anita said...

Now it all makes sense ... although I don't think the forces of good are winning at the moment considering the universe is made of 90% dark matter ...

Allen said...

Best. Comment. Ever.

Diesel said...

D'oh! That is a good comment.

I've got nothing. Glad to have you aboard the humor-blogs train. I'm going to see about getting you added to the page feed shortly....