Monday, September 08, 2008

Ten New Excuses for Not Blogging

Ever have those weeks where you just don’t get any blogging in? Are you tired of using the old “I’ve been really busy” excuse? Here at the ICFAB!*, we have devised some new—if slightly outrageous—excuses for you to use.

1. I was kidnapped and held for ransom, but the members of my family “don’t negotiate with terrorists.”

2. I made the mistake of signing an organ donor card without reading the fine print. They came to collect last week. 'Hope I don’t need my spleen!

3. I just spent a week in the hospital recovering from a fight I got into. My advice: Never tick off a Chihuahua with a switchblade!

4. I have been posting, but a computer worm programmed to devour only the funniest, most insightful posts has invaded blogger.com.

5. I’m practicing for Lent.

6. A bitter flame war over who was the best starship captain ended in a DoS! (I insisted it was Scott Bakula.)

7. I’ve fallen in love lately.

8. A recently-developed severe case of arachnophobia prevents me from using something called “the web.”

9. In a fit of nostalgia, I’ve switched back to using my old TRS-80.

10. I reached Nirvana for nearly 10 seconds yesterday, and I’m wiped out by the experience.
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*It Came From Allen's Brain!

7 comments:

The Ironic Catholic said...

Is #7 true?

Clever stuff, BTW.

Allen's Brain said...

Well, IC, I wasn't gonna mention it, but since you brought it up here, I have fallen heels-over-head, deeply, madly--for you!

Kidding! I'm kidding, SIC!

I will tell you that #3 is true, though. (It isn't, but I'll tell you it is.)

John said...

Scott Bacula? You deserved it. He was reckless. Give me Gul Dukat any day.

ironic catholic said...

What, I need to sic sic on you?

Sorry, couldn't resist.

Allen's Brain said...

IC said,
Sorry, couldn't resist.

Oh, if only I had a nickel for every woman who has said that to me! I'd have at least one, then.

Allen's Brain said...

Non-blogging excuse #11: beaten up by jealous husband for smart-aleck crack to his wife.

The Ironic Catholic said...

Ha!