Friday, December 05, 2008

And today in the brain lab...

We're going to learn to make plutonium from common household items. (stolen from "UHF")

I'm teaching Jr Hi Bible this afternoon at SCS and then all day on Monday.

The asparagus men are not reacting well to the cold weather treatment, nor to the asparagus women experiment. I am seriously considering giving them all a hot butter treatment, alongside a very large steak.

How would the world react to mutant goldfish that could breathe on land, I wonder. If I made them, say, 10-15 feet in length? What if I gave them legs and feet? Would that inspire terror in you puny bodied mortals? No? Then what if I outfitted them with Converse high-top sneakers?



HMSnow said...

I believe the traditional way to care for your asparagus people (male and female) is to bury them in mulch during the cold weather. When the snow melts in spring, they will have multiplied of their own accord. (It just goes to show that asparagus people like their privacy, just like anybody else.) Then you bring out the hot butter treatment. They love that.

Only, whatever you do, don't name them. Seriously: do not name them. It's never the same after you name them. [Sigh.]

Allen's Brain said...

That first paragraph may very well be the most suggestive thing ever posted in the "comments" section here!
Thanks for the advice, though.