Tuesday, January 01, 2013

More stuff that amuses and confuses Allen's Brain

This'll teach me to go shopping! Warning: some of this is religious in nature.
The first two are from Barnes & Noble.

I THOUGHT I knew what an Advent calendar was. Apparently, I was wrong, because THIS is a CHRISTMAS Advent calendar. As opposed to, you know, an EASTER Advent calendar or a HALLOWEEN Advent calendar. SO glad we straightened that out!

Because that's the point of the church service, right?

My issue, here, has to do with the change in the role of the corporate worship experience. It used to be that you evnagelized folks and then brought them into the community of believers. Now, it seems, the primary perceived purpose of the church service IS evangelism -- or, at least, baiting the unbeliever into coming back until they respond to the Gospel.
But is that what the church is primarily about? Making the unchurched comfortable?
Never mind this one. I'm just being curmudgeonly, I guess.

And now, on to an un-named antique mall:

Yup, Santa Prunes: the world's grumpiest Father Christmas!
Remember when bad kids used to get coal or sticks in their stockings?
"Ho! Ho! Ho! Looks like someone needs a little roughage!"

I know it's Santa Clara or Santa Clarita, but doesn't it look, at a glance, like "Santa Claus Prunes"?

And now, saving the best worst most notable for last:

I'll give you a moment to drink in, in all its... splendor.

First, it's a Christmas banner/folk art piece.

Takes a few moments to work out "He's Cheer Here!" is supposed to be read "Cheer. He's Here!"

"He," in this instance, is baby Jesus. See the halo? We are, it appears, looking down on him in the manger. Instead of canonical swaddling clothes, this ChristChild appears to be in a modified Christmas stocking -- red bottom, white top -- making him a Christmas gift. Nice sentiment!

You next spot the cruciformly-outstretched arms with too-cute hearts in the palms. You then begin to realize the whole thing is kind of cross-shaped. The "artist" wants to remind us that the baby in the manger came to be our Savior -- an act he will accomplish in his vicarious death at Calvary. And it was an act of love for us, so there are hearts instead of bleeding, nailed hands.

My personal favorite is the way the hair forms an almost-perfect icthus fish symbol! Only the upper "fin" of the tail is missing on the right, but maybe it broke off. Probably unintentional, but it made me laugh -- and hurl.

While none of it is really objectionable, the whole thing -- tassels, fringes, and all -- is just... ugly. I get it, but it's just, so... Blech!

Actually, if you want this item, let me know. Maybe I can acquire it for you. Then perhaps it will stop haunting my nightmares.  Shudder!

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