Saturday, June 28, 2014

Further Contemplations of the Sundry Motivations for Intentional Proximity of Bananas and Humanoid Otic Orifices

12 more answers, arranged topically for your inconvenience.

“Why do you have a banana in your ear?” I asked (yet a fourth time.)

- Don’t think of it as “in my ear.” Think of it as “brain adjacent.”

Fashion & Ontology:
- Earbuds are SO last season! Buds become blooms. Blooms fall off, and are replaced by fruit... Voila! The earbanana!

Nostalgic Science Fictional:
- “I’m receiving a transmission, Captain!”

Medical / Psychological / Sadistic:
- It’s a new cure for earworms! You know, it really IS a small world after all!”

- “Bananas are good for you!”

- “Well, as Jesus said, ‘By their fruit you shall know them.’ ”

Proverbial / Buzzfeed:
- “ ‘An apple a day keeps the doctor away!’ You’ll never guess what a banana a day prevents!”

- (look at watch) “19 minutes and 34 seconds! A new record!”

Adolescent / Historically-Unexpected:
- “Oh sure! Jill gets her eyebrow pierced; everyone thinks it’s cool!  Dan gets a tattoo; no one says a word! But *I* get a banana in my ear, and suddenly, it’s the Spanish Inquisition!”
- “You know how you can a hold a seashell up to your ear, and hear the roar of the ocean? When you put a banana in your ear, you can hear the sound of the jungle!”
(At night when the lion is prowling, that is.)

Traditional / Spiritual
- “I do this in accordance with the practice of my ancestors. My father’s father’s father, four generations back, stuck a banana in his ear – and so we have done in every generation since. HIS father before him used a zucchini – he had never seen a banana.”

- “I’m starting a new fashion trend.”
(All the really cool gibbons are already doing it!)


PaperSmyth said...

This made me smile. Thanks, Allen's Brain, for saving the world once again from grouchiness (and banana-impaired gibbons)! :)

العمراوى قمة الدقة said...

شركة كشف تسربات المياه بجازان