Scary Valentines of Yore

A few rather disturbing valentine cards from several decades back. These, and many more were posted by the entertaining nostalgia blog, And Everything Else, Too.

Because violence so often begets romance!

Ah, romance under the Big Top! The caveman clown clubs Ronald McDonald's sister, Leilani the hula dancer, under the assumption that this act of malevolent behavior will motivate her to be his Valentine. I'm told some women favor the caveman approach to courtship, but I don't think this is what was meant. I hope it works out for them, though, suffering as they are from terminal jaundice. And isn't the guy just a bit too, um, cheeky?

Already I'm a liar. This pic wasn't found at AndEverythingElseToo. Sorry.

But this one was...


Just say NO to pot.

Um, here we have the savage jungle theme again--so VERY un-PC.  However, the anklet is now on the aother foot, gender-speaking.  "The way to a man's heart is through his stomach"? No.  "If music be the food of love..."? Uh-uh. "I could just eat you up"? Closer.  You "soup me" might have been a more apt slogan. Note how Caucasion these two are. Not that it would be any less-creepy if they were depicted as a different race--but isn't it odd?

And speaking of eating...

Inter-species romance? It would initially appear so. And what gal wouldn't fall for this approach?  "You annoy me, so please be my girlfriend."  No, we all know what's going on, here. "Come into my parlor, said the spider to the... ladybug." He's asking to have her to his place for dinner. Dapper arachnid, though.

This one is too grim to contemplate, I think.  Who would think that this was a suitable card for kids? Hallmark, apparently. Anyone who gives out this Valentine clearly is crying out for help.

Happy Valentine's Day?

What better way to say "I love you" than a St Espressus of Java t-shirt or mug? I can think of a few.

"The Brain That Wouldn't Die" Comic

Just for the record, not all of us Brains-in-jars are related, but there's something about this one that I'm simply mad about! Ha-ha! Ha-ha-ha-HAAAAAAaaaaaa!

Of course, it's 1954, so he can't expect cable or dish, but still--rabbit ears!

THE HORRORS OF IT ALL: The Brain That Wouldn't Die: Not to be confused with the cult classic B-film from 1962 of the same name, today's tale from the January 1954 issue of Web of Evil #10 makes a gloriously revolting mess of science as only pre-code horror knew how.

This classic, pre-code horror comic has a great twist ending!

It's that time of year!

A pun that I would make, from the mind/pen of Yaakov Kirschen Dry Bones.

Nose, Meet Grindstone.

Is it really July, already?

Been writing up a storm since Tuesday, having received (finally) Jr 1 camp info. I'm writing morning skits, teaching a class, preaching vespers, leading a family group, and probably some other things that I haven't found out about yet.

Well, thank you for your patience. Here's a special message just for you (and anyone else who can click on the smiley face button.)

I'd like to thank the Academy...

I’ve been awarded the Irresistibly Sweet Blog Award by nissa_loves_cats of the delightfully-named blog, The Lina Lamont Fan Club (“What’s da’ mattah wit’ my voice?)

Truthfully–and sadly–I wasn’t particularly familiar with Nissa’s blog. I think I had read a linked post, here and there, but wasn’t a regular reader. However, after browsing about, I think I’ll swing by there more often. Of course, that seems to be the dark, secret motivation of blog awards of this ilk. :-D

“Irresistibly Sweet” sounds like something that would induce nausea upon ingestion. Not sure what that implies about my blog. Additionally, Nissa comments, “The last time I passed out an award, one of my awardees... was not available to pick up his award due to being in jail for the death threats he kept making... So now I'm puzzled--- do I try to find bloggers who WON'T get arrested to award them, or should I consider it a challenge to pick another potential trouble-maker? I'm torn....” So, now I REALLY wonder what she thinks of me! Hee-hee!

So, thanks, Nissa... I think...

Anyway, the stipulations for accepting this “award” are as follows:

The Rules:

1. Thank and link to the person who nominated you.

2. Share 7 random facts about yourself.

3. Pass the award along to 8 deserving blog buddies.

4. Contact those buddies to congratulate them.
*****

Now then, onward to the Abyss!

VII Roman, er, Random Facts About Allen’s Brain

I. I’ve quite a fondness for Hawaiian shirts and wear them over long t-shirts and sweatshirts in the winter. I have worn the same red print Hawaiian shirt the last 3 Christmases–maybe 4.

II. “I think you ought to know, I’m feeling very depressed.” Recently finished downloading the complete “Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy” BBC radio programs, and am listening to them in my car. Marvin the Paranoid (and perpetually-depressed) Android, btw, is the source of that quote.

III. With a passion for strong coffee and super-spicy food, it’s a wonder I have any tastebuds or stomach left, but I do. They’re on the third shelf from the bottom, second and fifth from the right, respectively. (Okay. That last bit’s not true. It’s actually the 2nd and 6th from the right.)

IV. Just achieved gold card status on my Starbucks membership. Yay.

V. In my fantasy life, I would run a tiki-themed coffee bar called either “ExotiCafe” or “Shrunken Ed’s.”

VI. I have never been compared to a giraffe or a bowl of cereal, and I don’t particularly envy anyone who has.

VII. Perhaps it’s the mad scientist in me, but I really like a good thunderstorm: lots of forked lightning, loud crashes of thunder, and great, wet curtains of rain plummeting to earth! Muh-ha-ha-ha!
_____
I don’t think I know/read 8 bloggers that would do this sort of thing, but if you are one such, and would like to do this, then I consider you Irresistibly Sweet!

Home Ec at the Brain Lab

Of course, here at the lab, we combine Anthropology, Non-Western Religions, and Metal Shop with our Home Economics course.



"Shrunken Heads," Josh Agle

 Class, your assigned reading is from this website, which is a very interesting and thorough study of the head-hunting culture of the Shuar (also called the Jivaro) people.

Especially pay attention to the following paragraphs, Students!

   To understand the motives behind the preparation of tsantsa (shrunken head) it is necessary to realize that the tsantsa itself possesses tsarutama or magical power. Immediately following the battle the head was taken as a trophy, which indicated that the maker had properly fulfilled the obligation to his lineage in taking blood revenge.



   Most Jivaro Indians would consider any victory over the enemy as incomplete, and perhaps the whole war expedition a failure if they were unable to return without one or more trophies. Furthermore, possessing the tsantsa itself would benefit the warrior's good fortune as well as please the spirits of his ancestors. The warrior could expect the spirits of their dead relatives to bestow them with good crops and fortune. Consequently, one could anticipate corresponding misfortune if their murders were not properly avenged. The Jivaros gave much more thought to the harm that might come to them through the ill will of the neglected dead relatives ghosts, than they did to the malevolent actions of enemy ghosts.

  

He laughed at my theories



    More importantly, the reason behind the preparation of the tsantsa is to paralyze the spirit of the enemy attached to the head so that it cannot escape and take revenge upon the murderer. This also prevents the spirit or soul from continuing into the afterlife where it could harm dead ancestors. When the warrior kills his enemy, he is not only after the victim's life, but more importantly he seeks to possess the victim's soul. Acquiring trophies after a battle, was also an instrument of increasing a warrior's own personal power, known as arutam. The idea behind killing the enemy and taking his head as a trophy, brings the victim's arutam to the warrior. The power of the dead man's soul is still considered dangerous to the victorious tribe and therefore the motive behind shrinking the head of the enemy is to conquer and destroy the spirit or soul.

   In addition to satisfying the notion of blood-revenge and possessing the dead man's soul, the transformation of the head into a tsantsa implies a deadly insult not only to the dead man himself, but also to his whole tribe.

   The head means to the warrior what the Medal of Honor means to an American soldier.

          *****

And now for the Home Ec portion of our lecture: Follow this recipe!

 

For extra credit, go watch "The Four Skulls of Jonathan Drake."

Are You Sure?

Is the Advent calendar too complicated for you?

'Wondering if the calendar on your wall is accurate enough?

Do you find yourself listening to carols and thinking, "By George! It's Christmas!" when it's only December 2nd?

Does the proliferation of holyday music, decorations and frenzied shopping have your sense of what day it is fouled up?

Then this site is for you! Quite simply, it answers the question "Is it Christmas?"

(It's also an iphone app, for those who need to answer that query while on the go.)

"Silhouette Sessions" for the Sacred Season?

Readers here at the brain lab may recall my posting of John Rydgren's "Silhouette Sessions," a record of radio clips created to reach out to 1960s youth.

I have since discovered more of Rydgren's work--also free to download. This time, it's his meditations on 10 Christmas carols. Though the background music is more MUZAK-y, Rydgren is still his groovy self. Check out "Thoughts On the Carols."

Also on that page are links to work he did on the topics of Lent and Easter.

Enjoy!

Or don't. I believe in free will.

Kyle Idleman is "Not A Fan Of Jesus"

Of course, Kyle was a classmate of mine, but this is still great stuff!  Hopefully this excerpt will appeal to non-clergy as well.

It was a Thursday afternoon, and I was sitting in our sanctuary where 30,000 people would soon be coming to one of our services. I had no idea what I was going to say to them. I could feel the pressure mounting. I sat there hoping that a sermon would come to mind. I looked around at the empty seats, hoping for some inspiration; instead, there was just more perspiration.


I wiped the sweat off my brow and looked down. "This sermon needs to be good," I told myself. There are some people who only come to church on Christmas and Easter (we call them "Creasters"). I wanted to make sure they all came back. "What could I say to get their attention? How could I make my message more appealing? Is there something creative I could do that would be a big hit and get people talking?" Still nothing.

There was a Bible on the chair in front of me. I grabbed it, but I couldn't think of a Scripture to turn to. I've spent my whole life studying this book, and I couldn't think of one passage that would "wow" the Creasters. I considered using it the way I did as kid: I would ask a question, open up the Bible, and point somewhere on the page, and whatever it said would answer my question. I just shook my head at that one.

Finally, a thought crossed my mind: "I wonder what Jesus taught whenever he had the big crowds." What I discovered changed me forever, not just as a preacher but as a follower of Christ. I found that when Jesus had large crowds, he would often preach a message that would be more likely to drive listeners away rather than encourage them to return for next week's message.

When Easter weekend came, I was so convicted that I stood up and began my sermon with an apology. I said to the congregation, "I'm sorry for sometimes selling Jesus cheap and watering down the gospel in hopes that more of you would fill these seats." I followed up with a sermon series entitled "Not a Fan." We went word-for-word though Luke 9:23—Jesus' invitation to follow him—and honestly asked ourselves, "Am I a fan or a follower of Jesus?" The dictionary defines fans as "enthusiastic admirers." Jesus was never interested in enthusiastic admirers; he wanted completely committed followers. He wants more from us than a hand raised or a prayer repeated at the end the service. He is looking for more than a prayer before a meal and a Jesus fish on the back of the car. He wants more than fans; he wants followers who take up a cross and die to themselves.

We soon realized that this was more than a message that we had created; God was orchestrating a movement in our church. He began to challenge our commitment to him. In that series, we were reminded that there is no believing without following, no salvation without surrender, no forgiveness without repentance, and no life without death. I said things in that message that for years I had quickly skipped over in fear that they would scare people off. But instead of pushing people away, this unedited, unfiltered presentation began a revival. That weekend set a new course for our congregation and provided a new lens through which I now preach.

Rest of the article here.

Cheeriest Music to Stick in My Atomically-Enhanced Brain Today

If you haven't heard this, you simply must. Postal Workers Canelling Stamps at University of Ghana Post Office. Put's a smile on your face (if you have one) and a spring in your step... or lurch... or whatever.

Jesus is Groovy, Apparently

So how did you evangelize hippies? Ask John Rydgren.

According to Hyp Records:

The legacy of John Rydgren (deceased) is one of the most enigmatic in radio-jock if not also record history. A Lutheran evangelist, Rydgren started a hit program called "Silhouettes," in which he rapped over such appealing tunes as "Music to Watch Girls By," "Groovin'," "Rinky Dink," the Electric Prunes' "Kyrie Eleison,"...

[h]is thoughts were highly original, ranging from quirky perceptions of the mundane to deep acid-head philosophy...

"Silhouettes" were as weird as anything heard from a pulpit or transistor radio.

Pastor John pitched his rants to the Hippie Freaks (many of whom would become Jesus Freaks) entirely on the hippies' own terms. Mentioned frequently are drugs (LSD, mushrooms, pot), mini-skirts, and other signifiers of the era. References to God... are plentiful but philosophical and intriguing. Such evangelical pills were supposed to slip subtly through the sugar coating of everyone's favorite psychedelic '60s hits. It worked.

For a taste, here are illustrations of Rydgren's "Hippy 23rd Psalm":

King David would be SO impressed!

I downloaded this LP quite a while ago, and was just listening to it again yesterday.

(Unintentionally) funny stuff!

Do yourself a favor, and give a listen to John Rydgren's "Silhouette Segments."  Each clip is an idividual download, so even pokey connections can snap 'em up.

Marvel Comics Hagaddah?

Well, not quite. But we can dream, can't we?

Actually "HoSa," artist and publisher of the Comic Book Siddur, has suggested Marvel Comics characters that could represent the 10 plagues.

here and here

Looking ahead to Passover

We're doing our seder at Cornland CC this year on Palm Sunday evening. And, wouldn't you know it, I came across some... interesting... links for Passover.

Wendy Rosenfield is a Jewish blogger. A few years back, she wrote a delightful article on how to host a “sadistic seder.”

Gotta love an article on Pesach that begins this way:

Since I’m gearing up to host a Passover seder for 13 at my house this weekend. (13 Jews at a seder? We know what happened at the last one… Someone better watch their back!)

Kosher Karate?

Ah! What a relief!

I figured the chosen people might just be limited to Jew-do.

Do you get different colors of talliths for each level you attain? "Watch yourself, Goyim! I'm a third degree green tzitziat!"

Tip of the yarmulke to The Mostly Forbidden Zone.

Suggestions for Killing a Twilight Vampire

While hanging out at a local gaming shop recently, I observed that the owner, Paul, had a bottle of water from the river Jordan with a crucifix built into the lid, ideal for killing vampires. (I'm no a gamer, really, but he's also a great source for the latest in Lovecraftiana.

A discussion then arose about how to kill a Twilight vampire, since, according to an online faq:

Twilight vampires are not allergic to garlic or silver, their reflections can be seen in a mirror, and they show up in pictures. They don't sleep, and their bodies are pale, cold and hard. They don't age or change at all.

***
They can't get killed with a stake through the heart or by exposure to the sun. They can actually go out in the sun, but their skin shines like it was made of crystals; consequently, they don't go out into direct sunlight, as it would mark them as different.

So then, how do you kill a Twilight vampire? I suggested:

-Cheering him up?

-Skewer him with flowers?

-Thrust a rainbow-colored unicorn horn through his heart?

And finally, it wouldn't kill one, but consider whipping out a CareBear instead of a crucifix. "Back, Thou foul and mopey demon!"

-------------------------------

No. You're right. I've never read the books or seen the movies. Please contain your horror at my ignorant retort.

ICFAB discovers new webcomic

Well, not really new, per se, since they've been going since January, but Back On Earth is definitely new to me.

The main character, Javis, graduates from seminary, only to find out the church he is assigned to has disappeared--"Poof!" Now he has moved back to Ohio and is trying to make a go of it. Fun premise.

Here's a couple to get you hooked.

New! Eek! Book!

Finally! An Eek! book is available for purchase!

Comics from the Dork Side features 96 pages of inspired madness from the mind of Scott Nickel!

If you love the twisted sensibilities of Scott Nickel, buy this book.

If you don’t know whether or not you like Eek! comics, but you like monsters, mad scientists and laughing, buy this book.

If you have a Valentine’s Day gift to buy for that special Atomic Lizard Man in your life, buy this book.

If you are in need of scrap paper to line the birdcage or help light the stove, buy this book!

If you enjoy the humor on this blog–get help immediately. . . by buying this book!

And if you act now, Scott is going all Ron Popeil on us by GIVING AWAY FREE EEK! ART WITH EVERY ORDER!

Additionally, I will, upon request, personally autograph every brain-in-a-jar cartoon in the book AT NO ADDITIONAL CHARGE TO YOU!*

Read Eek! now!

Buy Comics from the Dork Side
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*Offer does not include shipping and handling fees. My autograph is free, though. If you can hunt me down at my lab--and judging by the way you handle that pitchfork and torch, you probably can–I will do the signing for free.

Must see to begin to believe!

Dramatic/Traumatic Bible Scene Christmas Tree Ornaments

Anybody near Grove, OK?
I saw the place in question years ago, but I'm sure this wasn't in there.

Now I know what theme I'm using for next year's Christmas tree!

Must read/sing at Ironic Catholic

A new Hanukkah song has been born, and a whooping, hollering, hootenanny of a song it is, too!
Thank God I'm A Maccabee! And Thank God there's an IC!

... in accordance with the prophecy!

In a previous post about the bizarre Santa dreidel, I joked, "What's next? A menorah made of reindeer candle holders?"



Today, I got an email from Jews for Jesus, advertising their download-able holyday artwork, which was both Christmas- and Hanukkah-influenced. And what did I see there?



It would seem that someone got jealous of Rudolph's shiny nose.

Here's the download page for this one and another less-weird picture.