The Altogether Ooky Manger Scene?

Here's the life-size manger scene at a nursing center I visit often.

Naturally, I fixated on Joseph,

because, to me, he looks like John Astin (Gomez Addams from "The Addams Family")

And Now, The Big Reveal!

I have a secret.

When people ask what I do for fun, or what my hobbies are, they are likely to hear the response, "Well, honestly, I'm a pretty boring individual. I read a lot." However, I have been known to reply, "Well, I drink heavily," "I stand on my head in a bucket of paint -- It's sort of performance art," "I answer personal questions," and, "I'm a brain in a jar! How many hobby options are available to me, do you think?"

Last night, I told the inquiring party, "You know, you almost never hear 'housework' as a response to the question."

"So you like to do housework?"

"No. I just said it was a rarely-heard response to that question." (And I wonder why I don't get on socially.)

I actually DO have another hobby. A secret one. But since we are unlikely to meet, I figure I can share this.

My hobby is wrestling -- or, more accurately -- "wrasslin' ": Professional wrestling, not Olympic. I love the theatricality of it. The borderline cheesiness of cartoonish masculinity combined with the serious physicality touches me deeply. More specifically, I love luchadores. (Yes, that WAS a 1950s sitcom! Thanks for noticing! Little-known fact: Desi Arnaz worked as a luchador on nights his band didn't have gigs.) The trademark colorful masks and high-flying acrobatics make me inexplicably happy.

But lots of guys watch sports for fun. There's even a huge fanbase for Lucha Libre. That's not much of a secret. However, the hobby part goes a bit deeper.

I. Am. A. Luchador.

I'm a very pale Anglo-Saxon guy who moonlights as a Mexican wrestler. In a culture that greatly values Latino heritage, however, I found the loophole. I discovered a way to overcome the ethnicity issue.

I wrestle in a chicken suit.

I fight under the name of Marco Pollo.

Sure, much of my time in the ring is spent as comic relief in warm-up matches. After all, you'd figure a wrestler named Marco Pollo wouldn't fight. Y'know, because he's a chicken. Instead, Marco runs away, flapping and clucking loudly. He leaps from turnbuckles, somersaulting over his foe. Occasionally, he dead-faints, only to get up and flee the ring before the count is up. Imagine a team mascot vs a big, scary guy in spandex, and you get the picture pretty well.

When you think about it, though, a wrestling chicken makes perfect sense. Ever hear of cockfights? So, sometimes Marco fights back -- and wins. Always against "bad guy" wrestlers.  He pumps his chicken-wing fists in the air like a winning prizefighter. He throws his head back and utters his mighty chicken battle cry, "Bawk! B'gawk-B'gawk-B'gaaaaawk!" He races around the ring, springing from the ropes at his opponent, flailing and flapping wildly. And the crowd goes nuts. "Marco! Marco! Marco!"  The kids love it, especially. I mean, how often in this life do you get to see a hulking, muscular man get beat up by a chicken?

Not. Often. Enough.

So there it is. The chicken is out of the bag, as it were.

Next time someone asks me what I do for fun, I'll tell them.

"I like to cook."

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The preceding article has been fact-checked by Snopes.com & other independent fact-checking sources.

It has received a rating of 97% unreliable and fictitious.

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If there was a Christian version of FaceBook:

-Would there be “friend” requests, since everyone is automatically granted “neighbor” status?

-Perhaps there would be “brother/sister” or “orthodox” requests.

-“Unfriend” would be “Disfellowship” or “Excommunicate.” It would come with a note that says, “Don’t worry! Jesus told us to love and pray for our enemies, too!”

-Instead of “like/dislike,” we could have “Amen!/Heresy!”

-Instead of games like Farmville, we’d probably have Mission Field, or ChurchPlant.

-Oh, and we’d probably call it “FaithBook.”
*****

Add yours in the comment box!

From shrunken heads to... well...

One more day is all we've got, folks, assuming Harold Camping is correct. And why shouldn't we believe him? I mean, he successfully predicted the end 3 times back in 1994! Yeah, I didn't know that, either. Thanks, Wikipedia!

Please, don't be fooled again! Send today for the Parousia Secret Decoder Ring and begin to uncover all the secret messages hidden in God's Word! No longer will you be left wondering "Is God trying to tell me something?" You'll know! Just turn your Secret Decoder Ring Squadron-approved Hebrew text of the Bible upside-down, and begin to decipher the secret codes along with Capt N and the PSDR Squadron!

 And remember what Jesus said: "No one knows the day or the hour, without the secret decoder ring!"  

Today's secret code is 

"Captain Kresken Nostradamus and The Parousia Secret Decoder Ring Squadron" is sponsored by Chuck Taylors, the footwear of the Apocalypse! Chuck Taylor: because the 14th time is the charm!

_____

*Note: PSDR only completely and flawlessly works with original autographs.

What is a "Gleek"?

What is "Gleek"?