The Altogether Ooky Manger Scene?

Here's the life-size manger scene at a nursing center I visit often.

Naturally, I fixated on Joseph,

because, to me, he looks like John Astin (Gomez Addams from "The Addams Family")

Humor from the minor prophets

It's Lent, so reading the prophets seems appropriate. Have you read Amos in awhile? Beautiful! The poetic structuring, the poignant imagery. Just marvelous! (he gushed) And sometimes, kinda funny.

File this under the "out of the frying pan" humor genre.

"It will be as though a man fled from a lion, only to meet a bear,
"As though he entered his house and rested his hand on the wall,
"Only to have a snake bite him."

Amos is describing the inescapability of judgment on the "Day of the Lord." Somehow, though, I can't stop imagining Homer Simpson shrieking his way through all of this:

Lion: Roar!
Homer: Aaaaah! (runs away, right into a bear lair)
Bear: Grr!
Homer: Aaaah! (flees; finds his car, drives madly to his house. Inside...) Aahhh... Home sweet--
Snake: Hisssss! [bite]
Homer: D'oooooooohhhhh! (gradually getting softer as the poison takes effect and he sinks into unconsciousness.)

Sobering thought?

The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles first appeared in a comic book in 1987. If they were 15 or 16 then, they'd be in their mid-40s today! Which would make them...

Mid-Aged Mutant Ninja Turtles!

Imagine, the Heroes in a Half-Shell battling cholesterol, high blood pressure and middle-age spread!

Cowabunga, ya' young Whippersnapper!

Hey you kids! Get off my terrarium!

Today, they'd probably take up arms against those who wanted to take away their Medicare and retirement benefits.

And maybe, just maybe, combat violence on television.

Am I the only one...

...who watches the new Arby's commercial with the jumping, dancing turtles, and thinks of this pulp magazine cover by Will Hulsey?

May, 1957, slightly edited to remove other salacious article titles.

Yup. Probably so.

Does that make Jesus Grover?

In a Sunday School discussion of Psalm 91 last Sunday, we came to verse 4, where it says that God will

"cover you with his feathers, and under his wings you will find refuge"

The image, of course, is one of protection, like a mother hen with her chicks.

However, this is no ordinary Bible study group!

"So, God is a big bird?" I asked.

"God is Big Bird--like from Sesame Street," cracks someone.

"That means the Holy Spirit is Snuffelupagus," says another.

"Oh dear," said the brain in the jar.

I guess that means that the episode of Sesame Street where they all finally meet Snuffy is the day of Pentecost!

What is a "Gleek"?

What is "Gleek"?

I want this!

You've all likely seen this.

If you've got a slow connection, it's the Verizon commercial where they test out if the phone service works for a family camp-out in the woods.

I just want to know where you can get a crate of mosquitoes like in the commercial! I could have endless fun with such an item--and so could my horde of hungry bats!

Which makes Simon Cowell Pontius Pilate, right?

I can't even begin to describe what's wrong with this shirt!

It must have been Jesus' stunning rendition of "Proud Mary" that put him on top. (His arrangement began with a wonderful riff on "Ave Maria.")

Jesus as an idol. As in, "don't make 'em, don't bow down to 'em," to paraphrase his Dad.

Furthemore, could a first century Jew (in his earthly incarnation) be the American Idol?

Additionally, the idea behind the "idol" in "American Idol" is that everyone idolizes you. They want to be you--or, at least, like you. They practically worship you. Is this really what we see reflected in most of the United States?

"And I, if I can win the hearts of the viewers, will draw all men to myself." John 12:32-33 (er...)

Apparently, Isaih 53:3 is a misprint.

Tip o' the ol' hat to Joel at Crummy Church Signs.

The Truth Behind TV Ads

Ironic, isn't it, in such a self-esteem, accept-everybody culture as our own? Yet, when it comes to advertising: You're not skinny enough, you're not good-looking enough, you're not happy enough! You need this product!

Of course, there is a certain measure of truth to this idea in a spiritual sense. When it comes to our eternity, we are not good enough to enter into a right relationship with our Creator.

"That's why we need Jesus. That's right, Jesus, the Son of God with the name that sound like swearing! If you've tried other saviors, you may have already found out the truth. There is no other name in heaven or earth by which we must be saved! Jesus! Try him today!"

Please forgive me. That was pretty nauseating.

We now return you to your regularly-scheduled reality.

"3-2-1 Penguins" Does "Monsters, Inc" One Better

If you're not familiar with Big Idea's non-veggie programming "3-2-1 Penguins," then you're unfamiliar with it (that seems safe enough.) Pretty cute stuff. Lots of geeky sci-fi humor.

Anyway, they're broadcasting new episodes on Saturday mornings. Today, the professor (Fidgel) was testing out his new invention, "The Harryhausen Ray," which causes things it's aimed at to "stop motion." Ha!

You may remember that Ray Harryhausen was the stop animator behind plenty of great old movies like the original "Mighty Joe Young" and "Jason And The Argonauts" (fighting skeletons, anyone?) "Monsters, Inc" made a nice reference to Ray by naming the fancy restaurant "HarryHausen's," but for sheer geeky wondrousness, the Harryhausen Ray gets my vote. Additionally, 50s B-movie fans would certainly have delighted to see a picnic upset by gigantic ants, ala "Them!" True, Harryhausen didn't work on "Them!", but he certainly crafted plenty of other giant stop-motion creatures for similar movies.

An eerie vision of the future

I was visiting one of the women from our church in the nursing home yesterday. Each room has a calendar of special events going on during the month. On Sunday afternoons, they have "Old Time Radio" in the lobby/common room. I assume that means that they play recordings of old radio shows for the residents. Pretty cool! I almost stayed around just to see what they were going to feature. (I have a fondness for old radio programs.)

Then, the black curtains of horror closed in around me! I began to realize that--in some distant future--folks my age in nursing facilities might be subjected to reruns of "American Idol" or "Wife Swap" on the pretext of reliving the "good old days"!